


learning to walk again

by st4rlabsforever (omaken)



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Gen, Major Character Injury, cisco-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 08:17:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5449700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omaken/pseuds/st4rlabsforever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes it takes getting knocked down a few times for Cisco to realize his own worth. </p><p>AKA that Cisco-centric fic that no one asked for. Major Cisco-whump and h/c. Takes place mid-S2.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place sometime mid-S2.

_Present Day_

Caitlin pulled into the abandoned lot and almost laughed to herself when she saw that she was the only one there – among Barry, Cisco, and herself, she was the only one of them who could ever show up on time for anything.

Cisco was a major procrastinator, and yet he managed to get all of his work done on time _and_ go above and beyond whatever Wells had asked of him. It used to annoy her, but she and Cisco became fast friends in a way that surprised even her. It wasn't that she had a reputation for being unfriendly – that honor went to Hartley – but she was just laser-focused on her work and her relationship with Ronnie and that didn’t leave time for much else. So it was much to her surprise just how much Cisco became an anchoring presence in her life, being there for her when she lost Ronnie ( _both_ times).

Barry, on the other hand, was a living paradox. Forget Eddie, Caitlin had no idea how one man could consistently run over a thousand miles per hour and still be late to everything.

She checked her watch.

7:59 PM.

No sign of Barry. Typical. 

Shaking herself from her thoughts, she parked below the sole pair of lights in the lot, despite them being at least five hundred feet away from the meeting point, and walked toward the scaffolding. _Old habits die hard_ , she thought as she was reminded of being cornered by Snart and Mick in a dark parking garage. Despite how irrational her fear was, she felt better – _safer –_ in the light. _There goes logic right out the window._

As she got closer, she realized that Barry was already there, a blur pacing back and forth so rapidly in the Flash suit that there were black tread marks on the tarmac underfoot (and a hint of burning rubber, if her nose wasn’t deceiving her). He was practically vibrating with nervous energy, she realized.

“You’re…early?” she couldn’t keep the mild shock out of her voice.

Barry startled, pausing to look up at her.

“First time for everything,” he said sheepishly.

Barry craned his neck, trying to get a better view behind her.

“I just thought – hey, where’s Cisco?”

“Resting,” she winced when she realized it came out a little too harshly.

Caitlin raised an eyebrow. She tried for sardonic but was fairly sure it didn't work, owing to how well Barry knew her. This whole distant, cold shoulder act, if anyone had asked her three months ago, would have been so far out of character for her that she would’ve laughed. Then again, she never would’ve thought she’d be nursing her best friend back to health after being beaten to within an inch of his life by _his_ best friend. Times had changed so rapidly that she didn’t know backwards from forwards anymore, and if she started to think about it now, she knew she’d have a breakdown in front of Barry. So she schooled her features into something she thought was a little more neutral.

“How are we supposed to repair the suit if you’re still wearing it?”

Barry rubbed the back of his neck, that trademark sheepish grin under the mask obvious even with half his face covered. It was so familiar and just so – _Barry_ – that she wanted to cry.

“Right. _Right_ ,” Barry said, and in a blur of motion, he was suddenly in his civvies and holding out the scarlet one-piece to her.

“I was just thinking, you know…maybe I could talk to – hey, wait!”

Caitlin took the suit from him and promptly began the walk back to her car, silently cursing herself for parking so far away when they were in an abandoned lot and no one was likely to see them anyway.

Barry zipped in front of her, blocking the way. “I just thought maybe I could go back with you, and uh, talk to him for a bit…”

She continued her march back to the Fiat, forcing Barry to get out of her way when he realized she wasn’t stopping. “I’ll call you when the suit's ready to be picked up.”

There was a familiar rush of wind at her back and Barry was in front of her again, this time under the cold glow of the LED lights above. When she looked at him – _really_ looked at him – she noticed for the first time just how gaunt Barry looked with the mask off, pale (well, pal _er_ ) complexion, hollowed cheeks, heavy bags under his eyes. Late nights at S.T.A.R. Labs used to have them all looking worse for wear, but the past three months had been…trying on all of them. All of a sudden, she was overwhelmed with a powerful urge to just _talk_ to Barry. To ask him how the fight against the breachers and metahumans was going. To scold him for not eating nearly enough calories and running himself ragged. To just catch up with him and ask him how he was doing.

She should say something. She really should.

She didn’t.

“It’s just – it’s been three months and I haven’t seen or even heard from him…” he trailed off lamely.

With every ounce of willpower she possessed, Caitlin forced herself to keep moving. She brushed past him again, which, of course, was an exercise in futility; she heard the telltale crackle of electricity before her eyes could register the red streaks as Barry blocked the way again. It was brief, but she caught Barry’s features school into something more determined before he spoke this time.

S was hoping to avoid this confrontation, but it seemed it couldn’t be helped now. Barry was always the most stubborn of them all. She moved to push past him when-

“Caitlin – _dammit,_ Caitlin, I’m just try to do right by-“

“ _Stop!_ ” she cut him off at the start, surprised at how sharply it came out, and apparently Barry was too because he was left gaping like a fish out of water. In any other scenario, it would have been comical, but as it stood now, the whole thing was seven kinds of fucked up. She’d already let the anger out, but attempted to reel it in to something more manageable.

“Barry. That night we found you two, I watched my best friend die _three_ times on the operating table. I’ve tried everything I can think of to fix his leg, but every day it’s looking more and more like he’s going to be crippled for the rest of his life. Every night since he woke up, I’ve had to listen to him relive those two weeks with you and there’s _nothing_ I can do to stop his mind from destroying him.”

She paused when she realized that Barry had shrunken in on himself, no trace of the confidence that his last two years as the Flash had helped him to cultivate. He flashed his hand across his eyes in an effort to hide the tears that were freely falling now, but all that seemed to do was make it worse. But the effect was sobering.

“I – I’m sorry, Barry. That was…out of line.” The words sounded hollow even to her.

“No, you’re right.” A sniffle.

“That was selfish of me. I just – _please_ , Caitlin, tell me what I can do to help.”

Caitlin had to strain her ears to hear the last part, and Barry sounded so small that her heart shattered again, something that, after the past few months, she didn’t think was even remotely possible. Yet, here she was, standing between her two best friends, trying to play doctor, therapist, and mother all at the same time.

She sighed, giving his shoulder what she hoped was a comforting squeeze. “Just give him time, Barry. Time and space. It’ll all work out in the end.”

She took the final few steps to her car and tossed the worn out suit into the passenger seat.

“He’ll come around. You guys have been through so much, and you’ll get through this too.”

She drove and didn’t look back.

 

* * *

 

 

On her way back, she drove aimlessly, looping around random blocks nearly a dozen times and checking the rearview mirror for the telling streaks of red electricity.

Her intention was to dissuade Barry from playing the martyr and following her back (and consequently giving Cisco a heart attack in the process), but based on the determined and hopeful look in his eyes when she left the lot, she was equally sure their conversation could’ve had the opposite effect on Barry. He’d show up at the apartment she and Cisco had been laying low in eventually, she just hoped it was later rather than sooner because she wasn’t entirely sure Cisco would survive the inevitable confrontation in his current state. And it went without saying that Caitlin had a vested interest in protecting Cisco until he was able to put himself back together, however long that would take.

She gave the street a cursory glance before heading inside. The good thing – _usually_ bad, but good today – about Barry was that he didn’t do subtle, so if he hadn’t shown up yet, she most likely shook him off, _or he wasn’t following you to begin with_ , her brain sarcastically supplied. She really needed to get some sleep.

It was only after she made the final turn to the hallway of their apartment and was about to turn the key that she saw a blur of red in her periphery.

She let out a groan, probably louder than was strictly necessary, although where S.T.A.R. Labs was concerned, “strictly necessary” was a relative term. But when she reached the end of the hall, there was no one there. There was a moment of blind panic when she thought…but no, even Barry wouldn’t be that rash. Well, hopefully. He genuinely wanted what was best for Cisco, and she had to believe that Barry took her words to heart.

“Caitlin? Is that you?”

“Go back to bed, Cisco,” she shouted into the darkness as she returned to the apartment.

When she entered his room, Cisco was sitting up already, trying to flush the sleep from his eyes.

“I heard you shouting about something. Everything alright?” his voice was still rough from sleep, but the concern was still there all the same. Sometimes Caitlin forgot how similar Cisco and Barry were – a burning desire to protect their friends and family – but not in this moment. If she didn’t head him off soon, he’d graduate to full on brooding, which had only gotten exponentially worse the longer he’d been confined to bed rest.

“Don’t worry,” she smiled. “I just realized I forgot some files in the car, but I can get them in the morning. Go back to sleep.”

It was only when she went to retrieve her bag from the stand by the door that she saw the post-it note, hastily scribbled in what was undoubtedly Barry’s chicken scratch and stuck haphazardly to the outside of her bag.

_Thanks. For everything :)_

She smiled what may have been the first genuine smile in months. _Everything was going to be okay_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this will make more sense in the coming chapters. A healthy dose of in media res never hurt anyone


	2. with a little help from my friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caitlin and Cisco take matters with the breachers into their own hands by reaching out to an ally with dubious morals. Barry investigates recent activity of the Golden Glider.

 

_Two months later_

Caitlin noted once again that Barry was (very) early. She gave the parking lot a brief once over, taking in how Central City seemed to shimmer in the distance. This was apparently her life now: acting as a courier service for the Flash’s technological needs, secret meetings in abandoned factories like a cheesy D-list villain.

She handed Barry the repaired suit, began to say a line or two about treating it better so she didn’t have to watch Cisco nearly pull a stitch trying to patch it up, then realized how futile it would be and caught herself before the words came out.

“Thanks,” Barry said, and Caitlin couldn’t help but notice that he looked a little worse for wear than last time. His hair was unkempt, no hint of the usual slick styling that still looked good even after a crime-fighting session in the suit; dark circles under his eyes that gave way to puffy bags belying his claims that he’d been getting enough sleep. She buried that information for later perusal, repression being a disturbingly common theme amongst their ragtag group. And hey, why stop now?

“Cisco reinforced the outer fibers so it should hold up a little better now that you’ve been getting faster.”

At that, Barry’s eyes softened. “How is he?”

“Hanging in there. I may have found a doctor who can fix his leg, actually,” she offered a tentative smile.

“That’s…that’s great, Caitlin,” he said, the expression on his face torn between guilt and genuine happiness, that patented Barry Allen megawatt smile flickering like a dingy old light bulb in the midst of a tornado, and wasn’t that the perfect metaphor for their lives right now? Before the incident, it felt like they were unstoppable. The Man in the Yellow Suit, the singularity, Ronnie, even Zoom breaking Barry’s back. In the end, the three of them always persevered, and Barry was the shining light at the center of their universe. Countless trials had proven to them that Barry’s humanity – his compassion and empathy – were precisely what had made him such a beacon of hope. _The Man Who Saved Central City_. Perhaps his most admirable traits were also what lulled them into the belief that he was also infallible. This time, though, was different.

One month, and Caitlin wasn’t sure if Cisco would ever open his eyes again, keeping silent vigil over his bedside in S.T.A.R. Labs and vigorously keeping Barry away from him like her life depended on it.

Two months, and Cisco had finally awoken and Caitlin remembered not knowing what was worse: that Cisco remembered every single detail of those two days, or her disappointment that he did, that those tortured memories couldn’t just be tucked away as distant dreams.

Three months, and the nightmares had begun in earnest, nights upon nights of her begging Cisco to open up, to see a therapist or just _talk_ to her about it.

Four months, and Cisco was finally regaining the use of his body, but his powers grew stronger and more erratic, uncontrollable, and Caitlin couldn’t help thinking his metahuman difficulties were ( _are_ ) tied to the catastrophe left in the wake of his fractured psyche.

Five months, and finally, _finally_ , she had seen hope being rekindled in Cisco’s eyes, in his eagerness to make himself useful in closing the breaches. Every day, things started to look up, and every day, the world knocked them back to square one; vicious nightmares right on the heels of a breakthrough in Cisco’s physical therapy and sudden, terrifying vibes just when they thought his powers might be settling down. This was the world she lived in now. Hope and despair warring for dominance. Simultaneously seeing the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel and feeling forever trapped in the darkness.

“-lin? You okay?” Barry waved a hand in front of her as if to get her attention.

She shook herself out of her thoughts and plastered on a smile, more for Barry’s benefit than hers. “I’m fine, just a little tired. What were you saying again?”

For how oblivious Barry could be sometimes, he raised a skeptical eyebrow, but thankfully decided to let the matter drop.

“CCPD is investigating an explosion in the business district yesterday and I found traces of molten gold at the source. I was just wondering if, you know, you guys have picked up any activity from Lisa Snart recently…”

Now it was Caitlin’s turn to raise an eyebrow. “Why would we have any idea what the Snarts are up to?”

“I didn’t mean to imply-! I mean, of course you guys aren’t working with them, I just – I thought maybe after Cisco helped her last time…” he was shifting on his feet now, flustered and blushing slightly, and _this_ was something that Caitlin missed: awkward and babbling Barry hadn’t made an appearance since the whole affair with the Reverse Flash.

“…that after he helped her last time, they might still keep in contact,” he finished lamely.

She let the silence drag on for a moment, and she knew she was being deliberately obtuse, so she cut to the chase. “Well, I can promise you he hasn’t spoken to her since the last time. And for the record,” she continued, perhaps a bit more dryly than she had strictly intended, “I have better things to do than associate with known criminals.”

“Right!” he said, somewhat high-pitched. “Sorry about that, just thought I’d ask in case you knew anything.”

Caitlin sighed. “Well, if that’s all, I have to get back now. Take care of yourself, Barry. For both of us.”

She opened her arms tentatively for a hug and Barry was suddenly squeezing her tight. “Thanks, Caitlin. And if you guys need anything at all, I’m here for you. I mean it,” he said earnestly, doe eyes wide and sincere.

Caitlin waited until she was in her car to wipe away a few stray tears from her eyes. Barry was still standing under the scaffolding with the suit hanging limply from his hand, a gentle smile across his features.

 

* * *

 

 

_Two days ago_

Cisco pinched himself.

“Am I on an alternate Earth right now? Because I _know_ you’re not the one suggesting we do something dangerous and _I’m_ the one telling you it’s a terrible idea.”

“It’s not a terrible idea,” Caitlin shrugged. She was trying to play it off nonchalantly, but Cisco could tell she wasn't going to budge an inch. “Besides,” she continued, “every single one of your vibes has always been right. We’ll have the advantage. We know all of his powers and have a way to stop him. Lisa’s just going to give us a hand since neither of us really has superpowers.”

At Cisco’s mock-affronted look, she backtracked a bit: “Err, none that would be useful in a fight, at least.”

“Valid,” Cisco conceded. “But why Lisa? I mean, you guys don’t even _like_ each other. And last I checked, she doesn’t have any interest in playing hero.”

“Now that’s just not true, Cisco.”

Cisco and Caitlin both startled badly at the intrusion, Caitlin going for one of Cisco’s crutches to use as a weapon.

Lisa smirked. “You might want to lock the door if you don’t want strangers just waltzing in here. It reminds me of S.T.A.R. Labs, actually,” she mused, taking in the modest apartment that the former Team Flash members had been living in.

Cisco groaned, repeating his _this is a terrible idea_ mantra to himself. “Why are you here, Lisa?”

“I’m hurt that you even have to ask that, Cisco.” He wasn't sure how she managed to make everything sound so flirtatious, but it was normal for Lisa. “This city is my home, even if it _is_ a pile of shit sometimes.” She scrunched her nose. “I don’t want to see it destroyed, the same as you two. Besides, Caitlin here asked for my help.”

At Cisco’s glare, Caitlin rolled her eyes. “What? It’s not like there are any other superheroes in Central City that are lining up to help us. Not any qualified ones, anyway,” she muses.

Lisa swooned, or at least pretended to, at that. “I didn’t know you guys considered me a superhero.”

“We don’t.” He frowned. “She’s not talking about you, but anyway…” he took a moment to fiddle with some of the wires on his latest prototype, a device that would create a barrier around a breach and prevent metahumans from passing through it. He’d actually gotten the idea from Harry and the reverse magnetism when they’d stopped Trickster last time; it seemed like years and years ago now.

Caitlin was right. He’d been moping around feeling useless for months now and his mood swings were becoming unbearable even to himself. He was surprised, and infinitely grateful, that Caitlin had stuck by his side this entire time. He didn’t deserve such loyalty (according to Caitlin, he did – they’d argued contentiously over it yesterday). But it was true that he'd been itching to just get out and _do_ something – to help make a difference in Central City – and using the intel from his last few vibes, he’d come up with a solid plan and some tech ( _awesome_ tech, thank you very much) to stop the metahuman that was due to pass through tomorrow evening. Screw it. He was all in, despite a small part of his brain that was still repeating _terrible idea_ to him.

“Alright,” he said, more confidently this time. “We should go over logistics. _But_ ,” he paused and gave Lisa a pointed look. “We do things my way. No going off-script.”

Lisa held her hands up in surrender, a gentle smile directed at him. “I told you last time, smart is sexy, Cisco.”

 _This was a terrible idea_.

As it turned out, when they got to mulling over plans and details, Lisa was surprisingly a team player. She was more than happy to let Cisco and Caitlin call the shots, making a few suggestions of her own here and there. The plan was simple: they would take advantage of Cyclops’ – what Cisco had taken to calling said Earth-2 meta since he wore a helmet and visor in the vibes and could shoot lasers out of said visor – disorientation when he first passed through the breach to stun him. Then, they could activate the barrier he developed, which would force Cyclops back through the breach. Lisa was mainly meant to act as a distraction so that they could set up the barrier with minimal interference. It seemed so stupefyingly simple on paper, and they _did_ have the element of surprise.

_This was…not a terrible idea?_

 

* * *

 

_Present day_

“Barry, witnesses said they saw two other people with the Golden Glider yesterday – a male and a female.” Captain Singh’s lips twisted in mild displeasure at the asinine name Cisco had assigned her. “I need you to try and pull up nearby security footage and see if you can get an ID on them.”

“Yes, sir.”

Barry sighed. He didn’t know what Lisa Snart was up to this time, but it likely wasn’t anything good. Although, in her favor, she _had_ been on the mend since they helped her remove the bomb her deranged father had stuck in her body.

He also had the feeling Caitlin was hiding something from him, though he was certain it had more to do with Cisco than anything with the Snarts.

He cringed when he thought of Cisco. The rage Barry felt at what was done to Cisco was insurmountable, but the worst part was not being able to adequately punish himself, and not for want of trying. And he had definitely tried. Trashing his CCPD lab in a blind rage was mildly satisfying, the cuts from flying glass like bittersweet penance. It even turned out that punching a concrete wall at 600 mph and subsequently breaking every bone in his hand was also satisfying, but with super healing, it didn’t feel like much of a punishment at all when he was completely healed by morning. He quickly graduated to letting the weekly baddies get in a cheap shot or ten, and where super strength, poison gas, and metallic skin were concerned, it was fairly painful, but even that wasn’t enough. He even contemplated seeking out Zoom and letting him do his worst, but he’d be no good to Cisco dead, and that didn’t bear thinking about besides. He'd already promised to spend his entire life making amends for what he’d done. It was like when he attacked Eddie under Rainbow Raider’s influence, only a thousand times worse.

Of course, when Caitlin had found out about his masochistic streak, her verbal beat down had convinced him of how selfish he was being.

Barry shook himself out of his thoughts. Going down that path again wasn't something he was eager to relive.

He headed down to the archives and asked the tech to pull up footage from the surrounding alleys. It took awhile, but he managed to isolate the footage and sure enough, there was Lisa Snart behind – oh god, _Cisco and Caitlin_. The two of them looked agitated. In the span of less than a second, his mind ran through a hundred and one horrifying scenarios of his friends being beaten, coerced, and tortured.

Caitlin _seemed_ fine last night, but still, she could have been being blackmailed. She could have been be being blackmailed and _didn’t trust Barry enough to ask for help_. Oh god.

In the next second, he was about to flash over to Caitlin and Cisco’s apartment when he realized that if Singh saw the footage, suspicion would immediately be cast on them.

Faster than the tech’s eyes could see, Barry reached for the mouse and deleted the reel from the entire day.

“Hmm, that’s weird. Looks like there’s no footage from yesterday,” the tech – David – said.

“Weird. I guess the cameras weren’t turned on or something. I’ll go and let Singh know this lead’s a dead end.” It was a terrible excuse even by his standards, but he didn’t stick around to see if David bought it.

As soon as he was out of sight, he dashed to the apartment, directions seared into his memory from when he tailed Caitlin back a few months ago so he could protect them in situations just like this. When he got to the door – apartment 6F – he wasn't entirely sure what to do next.

Shit, he should have thought this through.

He could knock and demand an explanation, but after the last (and only) time he and Cisco were in the same room, it ended with Cisco having a panic attack, and Barry was in no way eager to repeat that experience.

He could flash in and take a quick look just to make sure they were okay. He was fast enough now that they probably wouldn’t even notice the door opening and closing – super _speed_ , not super strength – but then again, they were the two people who spent the most time around the Flash, so if anyone were to notice, it would be them.

In the end, he decided to phase himself in. He headed back out to the street to get a running start and passed effortlessly into the wall. Thankfully, the walls were thick enough to fit his body wholly, so he stuck to them like glue. He felt a little like a mouse sneaking around like this, but if it helped Cisco avoid any painful triggers and memories, then it was worth it. Plus, inside the walls, the wind from his running couldn’t reach them. How was that for subtle?

He allowed himself a fraction of a second’s relief when he phased his head through the wall briefly and saw Cisco at his workstation and Caitlin on the phone with Jay (they were setting up another date and Barry allowed himself a smile a bit).

Another second and he’d combed the whole apartment, satisfied that the two of them were alone, no trace of Lisa Snart to be found. Another minute and he’d searched the entire apartment complex from top to bottom and still no trace of her, nor in the immediate surroundings. For the moment, his panic subsided as he basked in the knowledge that his friends were safe.

Now, to get to the bottom of this fiasco.

Getting a straight answer out of Caitlin was impossible as long as Cisco was in the room with her. He could try calling her, but there was no guarantee she wouldn’t just hang up on him if his line of questioning got tough, tenuous as their friendship was nowadays.

There was nothing to it but to track down Lisa. Searching the entirety of Central City would be a daunting task, but he had all day. Besides, with his speed, it wouldn’t take too long. It’d be a welcome respite from the wandering thoughts he’d been having.

He grinned. It might even be fun.

 

* * *

 

 

_One day ago_

For the first time in the history of the universe, something actually went according to plan when metahumans were involved. As far as Cisco was concerned, trumpets should have been blaring.

They'd set up around sundown, mostly just casing the area and doing some recon. His vibes had been oddly detailed lately though; he wasn't sure how, but he knew the exact time and place Cyclops was going to show up. It even felt like he’d been here before, even though he knew that wasn't true.

“I’m just saying, Cyclops isn’t a very original name.”

Cisco bristled. “Well, he’s not a very original metahuman. I mean, has he even seen X-Men?”

Lisa rolled her eyes at their banter as she wheeled Cisco back to the van (courtesy of S.T.A.R. Labs – it wasn’t like anyone would notice it was missing).

Caitlin and Lisa headed back out to scope out possible escape routes in case things went south, but Cisco was confident they wouldn't.

In any case, he did one last check to make sure all of his tech was in order. He’d be hanging back in the van running comms support – it wasn't like he’d be much help in the field in a wheelchair; Lisa would be the distraction; and Caitlin would launch the barrier and send ol' one-eye back. Simple. He had micro cameras on both of them so he could see what was happening in real time, and only wished he came up with the idea when he was still doing comms for Barry.

He sighed. At least he felt less useless today.

And when all was said and done, everything actually went according to plan. Their meta showed up exactly on time and Lisa let out a blast from the gold gun at his visor exactly as planned. Cisco let off a _whoop_ and a fist pump when the shot hit its target. _What?_ Acting as Barry’s eyes and ears never got old, and he sort of missed it. Besides, playing tech guru was awesome.

“ _Now_ , Caitlin!”

She launched the barrier device into the breach and it expanded outward, trapping Cyclops.

With a flourish, Cisco flicked the switch, causing the barrier to shrink in on itself, sucking the meta back into the breach.

“ _BOOM!_ That’s how it’s done!” Cisco was still waiting for the other shoe to drop actually, because that was way too easy. The only unfortunate side effect so far was that the barrier contracting in on itself had released a rather explosive shockwave, but all in all, a rather minor drawback.

“Cisco, what the hell was that?” Caitlin shrieked.

“I...might have miscalculated the force of the shockwave a bit,” he admitted.

“A _bit?!_ Every window in a 500-foot radius was just blown out!”

Scratch that. Maybe a not-so-minor drawback. Still, though…

“At least it’s way less than the damage he would have caused if we didn’t stop him?” he offered. “At least, based on what I saw in my visions…”

He could hear Caitlin sigh through the comms. “True,” she said grudgingly. “And we must have set a record for stopping a metahuman.”

Cisco beamed. “ _And_ no one was hurt. I’ll drink to that."

They thanked Lisa and she was on her way, tight-lipped about what pressing obligation she had that night. Caitlin was positive it involved larceny or burglary in the first, but Cisco wasn’t entirely convinced. He tried vibing off her (dammit, they really needed to come up with a less creepy term for his visions) when she kissed him goodbye, but didn’t really find anything useful. She did offer to help them the next time they tried to send back a breacher though, which was something at least.

When it was just the two of them again back in the apartment, Caitlin nudged him lightly on the shoulder. “See? I told you this was a good idea.”

He couldn’t stop from smiling at that – didn’t want to, actually.

Things were looking up in the world of Cisco Ramon.

 

* * *

 

 

_Present day_

Barry saw his opening and went for it. He grabbed Lisa and flashed them into a nearby alley, away from prying eyes.

He cut right to the chase. “Whatever you’re doing in Central City, leave Cisco and Caitlin out of it.”

“Leave _them_ out of it? They’re the ones who asked _me_ for help to stop one of your metas. Of course, you could’ve just asked them yourself, unless…” she trailed off, looking particularly smug. “Trouble in paradise?”

Barry tried not to let her get under his skin and succeeded. Mostly.

“Why would they ask _you_ for help?”

“You tell me. Maybe they find their resident metahuman unreliable? Untrustworthy, perhaps?”

It could have been Barry’s imagination, but Lisa seemed to be far more hostile than the last time they spoke. After he and Cisco – all Cisco, actually – had pulled the bomb out of her, he had thought they were at least on cordial terms. Even when she and Captain Cold had been actively fighting him, she had been obnoxiously flirtatious, even playful. This, though – antagonizing and hostile Lisa – was something new.

Barry physically bristled, body practically vibrating with energy at her accusations, which, even if they were true, still stung coming from someone like Lisa Snart.

She rolled her eyes when she saw he wasn’t going to answer any time soon. “Cisco had one of his little visions, saw one of those metas about to go on a rampage, came up with plan to stop him, and asked me for help. And as his _friend_ ,” she put particular emphasis on that word, “I came to his aid. If you don’t believe me, ask him yourself.”

“As a friend who’s known him far longer than you have,” he sounded petulant even to his own ears, “I’m just making sure he isn’t getting involved in anything he can’t handle.”

“Friend?” she laughed. “You have a funny way of showing it. Oh, and Flash?” she said with false sweetness. “Don’t contact me again. Or else.”

He was forced to use his speed to dodge the blast of gold aimed directly at him. When he looked up, Lisa was already making her way out of the alley.

“Have a nice life,” she said pleasantly.

When she was gone, he punched the brick wall behind him. He hated feeling useless, knowing that his friends were out there risking their lives and didn’t trust him enough to ask for his help. Knowing that Cisco was hurting and it was all his fault, that no matter how much he tried to help, he just ended up making it worse.

Caitlin had said to give it time, and he’d been clinging to every bit of information she’d been feeding him about Cisco like a lifeline.

He was overjoyed to hear that Cisco’s condition had improved drastically over the last five months, but when you were as fast as he was, those months felt like centuries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whelp. i promise some flashback chapters are coming soon!


	3. (real talk pt. 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cisco and Jay. Science bros. 'nuff said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in between each of the main chapters, I'll be doing a sort of mini chapter. These will have relevance to the story but are mostly small scenes that I didn't think fit well in the main chapters.

 

 ****“Alright, I’m game,” Cisco said, squinting at Jay and trying to figure out why he was acting so unbelievably suspiciously.

Jay had shown up in the middle of the night asking for his help in building a new gadget for Barry, but refused to give any other details.

 

_“Caitlin said I should be resting after pulling those stitches yesterday,” he told Jay._

_Jay’s eyes shifted briefly before he answered. “Don’t worry, I already cleared it with her before heading over here. She said hi, by the way.”_

_Cisco resisted the urge to facepalm. Apparently, Earth-2’s Flash was also a terrible liar, Caitlin currently being on a weekend camping trip with her family without any cell service._

_In any case though, whatever science Jay was up to at this time of the night was sure to be far more interesting than staring at the walls of his bedroom trying to avoid sleep – and the accompanying nightmares – as long as possible._

 

“ _But_ ,” Cisco added, “if Caitlin finds out about this, I won’t hesitate to throw you under the bus. You have no idea how scary she can be when she’s going all Dr. Mother Hen on you.”

Jay visibly shuddered at that, but flashed him an eager smile, clapped his hands together, and moved to wheel Cisco out of the apartment.

Honestly, Cisco wasn’t sure if Jay was capable of being anything besides serious (well, except for being hilariously awkward when with Caitlin). Out of everyone on the team, he probably knew Jay the least – even including Harry – and figured it couldn’t hurt to get to know him better.

 

* * *

 

 

It was only as he was being wheeled up to the entrance of S.T.A.R. Labs that a thought occurred to him, his heart ratcheting up in a nervous staccato.

“Um, I was just thinking it _might_ not be a good idea for me to be in there with everyone else around –“

Thankfully, Jay picked up on his anxiety. “Don’t worry, Barry’s gone for the night so it’s just us now.”

Cisco heaved a sigh of relief at that. He knew he was going to have to speak to Barry sooner or later, but baby steps, right?

“So, where’s this mystery tech you need my help with?” he said, looking around the cortex for the first time in – wow, almost half a year now.

“About that…” Jay said as he shuffled about nervously. “I mean, the plan _is_ to build something, but Caitlin was telling me about the nightmares-” ( _traitor_ , Cisco thought to himself) “-and how you were having trouble sleeping. And I just thought it might help to get out a little, take your mind off things.”

When Cisco didn’t respond, he just plowed on.

“After Zoom stole my speed, things were...pretty bad for me, but whenever it became unbearable, it always helped for me to just,” he made a sweeping gesture with his hand, indicating the whole of S.T.A.R. Labs, “tinker, build stuff, you know?”

That got Cisco’s interest. In the short time that he’d known Jay, he’d known him as confident and assertive, a mentor to Barry. But when he really thought about it, Jay was actually a pretty guarded guy. Aside from offering knowledge of Earth-2’s metas and the occasional Speed Force tip to Barry, he rarely talked about his personal life.

“Alright,” Cisco conceded. “I did have a couple of ideas for Barry’s suit that I’ve been dying to try out.”

Jay beamed.

 

* * *

 

 

By the end of the night, they’d decked out the Flash suit with reinforced carbon fiber around the vital organs and added magnetic propulsion to the soles of Barry’s boots for a speed boost in a pinch (“because why not?” Cisco had said, mostly out of habit when justifying his crazy ideas to Caitlin, but Jay had looked even more excited than he did, so _preaching to the choir and all that_ , Cisco thought).

As the night went on, they brewed their own beer (Caitlin had taught Cisco how to late one night after Dr. Wells had gone home) and Cisco set up the movie room (really, the old snack room that he and Caitlin had repurposed after the accelerator explosions). Jay had given him a blank look when he’d asked if Earth-2 had Star Trek, and Cisco was absolutely having none of that.

“So what was it like?” Cisco asked. “When you lost your speed, I mean. If you don’t mind me asking…”

He figured it was a bit of a forward question, but Jay was pretty open about it a few hours ago, and it would probably help Jay too to let it out; he got the feeling that Jay hadn’t exactly opened up to any of the others.

Caitlin had confided in Cisco that she thought Jay was lonely. He was slowly opening up to her during their dates, but Cisco figured intense suffering made him and Jay a little more relatable right now.

Jay didn’t answer for a long moment. Cisco was about to apologize for overstepping bounds when he finally spoke.

“…it was like losing a part of myself. You know how it’s like with Barry. Once you have the Speed Force, you start using it for small things too – brushing your teeth, changing your clothes, getting to work on time. It becomes a part of who you are, and losing it is like losing a limb.”

He gave a nod to Cisco’s bandaged leg before continuing on, oddly earnest. “Getting back up again wasn’t easy, but helping you guys stop Zoom gave me a new purpose in life. I do still miss it sometimes though, you know? I envy how fast Barry can run now, but it’s inspirational to see how far he’s come.”

“He really is trying his hardest, and he might stumble sometimes, but he’s the Flash that I could never be.”

Jay gave him a pointed look.

Cisco sighed. “Look, I know that. Why do you think I’m still signed on to be a part of this team? It’s just, I trusted him and he just rushed in without thinking. We argued right before that, did you know?”

Jay shook his head. It was minute, but all of his attention was clearly focused on Cisco.

“Barry was stressed, I think. More stressed than usual. Me and Cait tried to get him to talk to us…mostly me, actually. But he wouldn’t listen. I thought we learned our lesson after the hundred other times one of us kept something bottled up, but I guess not…”

Cisco sniffled. “He told us we were either with him or against him. We were just trying to help. Can you believe he threw that whole thing with the cold gun back in my face?”

Cisco shook his head. “I know he didn’t mean it, but it still hurt. Anyway, you know what happened after that. I went with him to find Zoom and we got caught…”

He shuddered. “I still remember when you found us, you know.” Jay placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. “I didn’t think anyone would ever come. Caitlin told me you didn’t want to take Velocity 6 again and I just…it means a lot to me that you came…” he finished off lamely.

Jay grinned. “Of course. I think you’ve got to give him a chance though,” he said, sobering a little. “I think it would do you both a lot of good.”

“I know that!” Cisco said, if a little defensively. “It’s just, every time I think of him, I’m back in that cell and I’m begging him to stop but the beatings just keep coming. I know he wasn't himself...his eyes just looked so dead." Another sniffle. "I begged him anyway, to try and fight it. But he just laughed and told me it was what I deserved for not trusting him...h-he just. _Wouldn’t. Stop._ ”

He was verging on hysterical now and he knew it. And oh, great. He was physically trembling too.

Jay pulled him in closer for a hug and Cisco just let it happen. He was glad there was no one else here tonight because this was humiliating – he knew he wasn't a pretty crier even without Caitlin’s playful teasing.

He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, hugging like some sort of grotesque mannequin collage.

Eventually, Jay said, “I know it’s not going to be easy, but you’ve gotta start somewhere. Baby steps right?” echoing Cisco’s thoughts from earlier in the night.

He apparently took Cisco’s silence as tacit agreement because he continued on after a moment. “How about a phone call or something? That’s safe, right?”

“…yeah,” Cisco managed. “Yeah, okay,” he repeated, more forcefully this time. “Hold me to it, will you?”

“You got it. Now come on, what do you say we clean this place up before the sun rises?”

Cisco checked his watch. 6:41AM. Damn, they’d been at it longer than he thought. But as they got to tidying up the lab – well, Jay mostly tidying up and Cisco helping where he could, which wasn’t as much as he would have liked on account of the wheelchair – he couldn’t help but feel like an enormous weight on his chest had lifted. Just a little, but it was noticeable.

 

* * *

 

 

And if, after that night, Jay was over the apartment more often than not – building tech, marathoning movies, or just bouncing ideas off of Cisco – Caitlin certainly didn’t say anything.


	4. on the mend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cisco heads off to Starling City with recovery on his mind, but might get more than he bargained for when an old foe reemerges.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as usual, let me know how I'm doing! sorry it took absolutely forever to get this chapter out, but it ended up taking way longer than expected
> 
> thanks to Lucy_Claire for the beta

Cisco opened his eyes and sucked in a deep breath.

He hoped the sound wasn’t enough to catch Caitlin’s attention, but she was on him in an instant, asking what was wrong.

He’d vibed again, only this time it was so sudden that he’d only had a glimpse for a second or two before being tossed back into his body.

_He was standing with his legs spread apart, knees slightly bent, palms stretched out towards the figure in front of him._

_Cisco felt some sort of pulse leave his fingers before the man – tall, square-jawed, blonde – convulsed, lighting flickering around his torso before he fell to his knees, and oh god, that was_ Jay _. He hurt Jay._

Caitlin was shaking him frantically now, waving a hand across his eyes to focus his attention back on her.

“I’m fine. It was just a random vibe, not really even sure what I saw, to be honest,” he lied.

What was he supposed to say? _I saw myself attack your boyfriend and I have no idea why?_ Besides, if that was on Earth-1, then it clearly hadn’t happened yet and now that he knew what could come to pass, he’d do his best to avoid it. After all, it worked for Barry and Dr. McGee. And if it was on some other universe, then all the better and he wouldn’t have to concern himself with it at all. In any case, without more information, all he could do was wait for the next vibe. Unless…no. He promised himself he wouldn’t be tempted to utilize Vibe’s powers. He was already horrified that his Earth-2 self could be a super villain and didn’t want to go the same way as him.

Caitlin gave him a skeptical look, but thankfully let it pass. “If it gets worse, let me know.”

It really was a testament to how hard she was working to help Jay find a cure to his condition. She’d been on Cisco’s case for weeks, urging him to talk to Harry about the vibes. He thought he’d be relieved when she stopped, but that the cause of it was Jay’s deteriorating health just made him feel miserable instead. He wished he had the bio and medical know-how to help her.

Caitlin went back to tinkering with her samples, leaving Cisco to his own devices.

“I think I’ll turn in for tonight if you don’t mind,” he said.

Caitlin grumbled something unintelligible in response.

 

* * *

 

 

_Cisco woke up in a cold sweat, but when he tried to get up, he found that his arms wouldn’t cooperate, or rather, one of them was bent at a strange angle and oh right, it hurt like a bitch right now._

_He heard a noise to his right and suddenly Barry was in front of him, still in the Flash suit, still with the hood down._

_“Barry, come on, you can fight this. This isn’t you,” he pleaded, pulling himself flush against the cold wall behind him with enormous effort._

_Barry’s pupils were dilated, blood red. He stared at Cisco for what felt like minutes, his eyes devoid of any emotion._

_“Bar, can you hear –“_

_CRACK._

_Barry decked him across the face, and when Cisco finally turned his head back, he saw the look of pure fury etched in Barry’s features – teeth bared and fists clenched._

_But before he could say anything else, a blinding pain shot up his leg. It felt like a white hot nail being driven right through his flesh and into his bone, and when he looked down, he saw Barry’s hand phasing through his leg._

_For how angry Barry was, his movements were methodical, almost surgical in precision. Cisco had no idea what the fuck Barry was rooting around for, but with every swipe of his fingers, the pain radiated from his calf and up his thighs._

_Apparently, Barry had finally found what he was looking for his fingers clenched, squeezed, and_ ripped _._

_Cisco wasn’t even aware that the shrieking was coming from his own mouth at first. His body was seizing and he could feel the bile dribbling down his chin and he was heaving, heaving, heaving until finally, he blessedly passed out._

 

* * *

 

 

When Cisco woke up this time, safely in the confines of his own bed, he knew he was back to reality. He wasn’t sure if it was because of his powers or not, but when he dreamed of that day, it was vivid, a perfect recreation without embellishments or variations.

He checked his phone.

5:38 A.M.

Great. He laid back down but knew he wouldn’t be able to just fall back asleep after that.

Fuck it.

Today was the day he was going to pull himself together. He’d promised himself that the last ten times too, but enough was enough. He’d been proud of the person he was before the nightmare with Barry. He was goddamn smart and he’d channeled his talents to help Barry fight crime – still did, actually. The only thing holding him back was himself; none of the shitty things that happened to him in the past year were his fault, but he could either play the shitty hand he’d been dealt, or wallow in self-pity.

He pulled up a train schedule then shot out a text to Felicity.

_Starling City Train Station. 8:05 A.M. Be there to pick me up._

She’d been bugging him to come visit since it had been well over a year – not since the incident with Vandal Savage – that they’d seen each other in person. And anyway, there were plenty of ways he could make himself useful in the Arrow Cave; he’d had tons of ideas for improvements to Oliver’s suit – a consequence of having way too much free time. A change of scenery would be good.

He packed a bag, mostly just schematics and notes for prototypes, and sighed when he grabbed the thick stack of papers from his desk – medical bills and letters from his insurance company.

Caitlin had found a doctor who was certain she could fix Cisco’s leg, only the cost of the surgery was obscene and his insurance had flat out told him they wouldn’t pay for it. Apparently, being a lowly consultant for the CCPD didn’t come with great coverage. He’d been selling patents and inventions aside from being the CCPD’s metahuman advisor, but there was no way he’d be able to afford this.

He’d have to make the numbers work out some way or another, though. Caitlin would chip in in a heartbeat if he asked, but even then, it still wouldn’t be enough, and he was hesitant to ask her for charity.

Snapping himself out of his thoughts, he called a taxi and did a cursory once over to make sure he didn’t forget anything when his eyes froze on the pair of crutches in the corner. He’d been using the wheelchair since it had become obvious his leg wasn’t going to heal properly without surgery – the crutches were a huge pain to use all the time – but it was only the one leg that was still injured.

His mind made up, he grabbed the crutches and hoisted himself out of the wheelchair.

Damn, he needed to work out.

Mindful not to wake Caitlin, he made his way outside to wait for his ride. When he checked his phone, he found that it was dead. He must’ve forgotten to charge it last night, being preoccupied with what his visions of Jay meant.

Fucking fantastic. The day was off to a great start already.

In any case, the taxi pulled up to the curb that moment. Cisco figured he’d deal with how to contact Felicity when he got to Star City. It wasn’t like he didn’t know his way around the city, in any case.

 

* * *

 

 

_“–co? Cisco?!”_

_He tried to open his eyes, but everything was a blur. Nothing. He couldn’t feel anything. But he couldn’t keep his eyes open much longer and drifted off again._

_“He’s crashing! Get the–”_

_The sensation of his body bending upward, then collapsing like a puppet cut from its strings. But he felt nothing. Nothing at all._

_“Jay, there’s something lodged in his left lung. You have to get it out now!”_

_Caitlin? She sounded hysterical._

_“…get the hell out of here, Allen!”_

_Suddenly, there was a piercing pain in his chest – he_ could _feel that one – and a scream managed to work it’s way out of his throat before he passed out._

 

* * *

 

 

He jerked upright with a yelp, smashing his arm against the armrest. Hard.

He’d dozed off almost as soon as he’d gotten on the train. Thankfully, he still had 15 minutes until arrival time, according to his watch.

He sighed and pulled out the stack of medical papers again. Nearly half a million dollars for a simple muscle reconstruction surgery. Well. Caitlin told him it would be a miracle for him to regain the use of his leg at all, but she’d spent months poring over medical journals for experimental treatments and she’d been so excited to find one she thought would work.

He rifled quickly through the rest of the stack – mostly academic papers that explained muscle reconstruction in painful detail. Most of them were beyond his understanding…eprobably not, actually, if he put in the effort, but he trusted Caitlin, and this was more her speed anyway.

The idea behind the surgery was simple: when Barry had done…whatever he’d done, none of the muscles and tendons had been destroyed, just severed. The broken bones were easy enough for Caitlin to set, and much of the remaining damage had healed with time, save for some scarring (okay, major scarring on the left side of his ribcage, but at least it wasn’t visible…silver linings and all that), but the muscles and tendons had been ripped internally when Barry had phased his hand in, and the doctors hadn’t even known how to begin to operate on it. Of course, that had been _before_ the sepsis set in and a non-functional leg had been the least of his problems.

In any case, what mattered was that this doctor was confident she could repair the damage and Caitlin was certain the surgery would be a success.

And then they’d met the doctor for a consultation. The good news had been that after examining his leg, the doctor had been even more certain that she’d be able to get the job done. But the bad news was the six-figure price tag (and the even worse news from his shitty insurance).

He’d been brainstorming for weeks now for a solution, but generally his patentable inventions didn’t sell for anywhere near what he’d need, not to mention his mobility wasn’t what it once was.

His parents weren’t poor, but there was no way they’d be able to afford this, and besides, they’d already had to spend so much to pay for Dante’s hospital bills.

He _could_ ask Harry. Running S.T.A.R. Labs on Earth-2 must’ve made him a billionaire, but Cisco would probably die of shame on the spot. He and Harry had become friends – far closer than he could’ve imagined being with someone who shared his murderer’s face and betrayed the entire team to Zoom – but there was no elegant way to put “Oh, by the way, can I borrow $500,000?” no matter how close they were.

Finishing his dissertation early and going on to work at S.T.A.R. had been an enormous point of pride for Cisco. His parents had never thought he would amount to anything, but he’d become Wells’ protégé and de facto engineer for the freaking Flash. His independence was everything to him, and having to beg for charity – even if he knew his friends would be happy to help – just didn’t sit right with him.

_Attention passengers: the train is now arriving at Starling City._

Cisco sighed. He figured he would at least bring up the topic with Harry the next time he saw him, which actually might not be for a while, now that he thought about it. Harry had decided to take Jesse on an extended vacation of Earth-1 now that they were reunited.

He tucked the papers away in his pack once again and slowly lumbered onto the station platform. He pulled his phone out and oops – he forgot that it had died before.

No sooner had he figured that he would just get a cab over to Queen Consolidated than–

“Cisco?!”

And there she was.

“What the hell is this, Cisco?” she asked frantically, gesturing at his whole body while simultaneously trying to maneuver around the crutches for a hug. “What happened?”

He cringed. He _might_ have neglected to share any of the events of the past few months with her, but in his defense, he had kind of been a little preoccupied with fixing his everything.

“Uh,” he said eloquently, “just a mishap with a meta.” Technically, it was true.

“Uh huh. One day I’m gonna have a talk with you and Barry about telling your friends when you get hurt.”

She still looked less than impressed, but it really said something about how crazy all of their lives were that she let it go. Business as usual.

Before he could respond, she was ushering him over to the car where – oh, that was Oliver leaning against the passenger side.

“It’s good to see you Cisco,” he said with a warm smile and a firm handshake. He gave Cisco’s leg a lingering look, but otherwise he too didn’t comment.

“Come on, you can crash in our guest room for now.” She was already shooing him into the car, grabbing the crutches and tossing them to the opposite side.

“ _But,_ ” she poked him forcefully, “after lunch you’re telling me all about what happened.” Her tone brooked no argument.

“Deal,” Cisco grinned. “But only if you spill what’s been going on on your end. I heard Oliver lost to Dig in training,” he whispered conspiratorially.

“ _What?!_ ”

Oliver’s tone was thunderous, but Cisco just laughed with Felicity. He was so very glad that Felicity was there, because otherwise he was fairly certain he’d have gotten all of his fingers broken for that dig.

 

* * *

 

 

“So, are you going to tell me why you look like you got into a fight with a lawnmower and lost?” Felicity asked coyly, leaning on her elbows on Cisco’s workstation.

Cisco wiped the sweat from his brow. He lifted up his safety goggles and tossed the soldering iron to the side, satisfied that his improvements to Oliver’s suit were complete.

“Sure,” he said easily, “but I already told you, we had a little trouble with a meta last month. We took care of it.”

“Nice try, but I already hacked the CCPD reports and there hasn’t been any metahuman activity in the past month,” Felicity said with a smug grin.

Cisco rolled his eyes affectionately. The one time he needed a cover _would_ be the only time the metas had decided to leave Central City alone.

“Yeah, well maybe I’m a clumsy guy.”

He knew he was being transparent, but he hoped that if he joked about it casually enough, Felicity wouldn’t think it was a big deal.

She didn’t bother to grace that with a response. Instead, she leveled him with a look that he was pretty sure would have even given Oliver pause.

He sighed and Felicity’s expression softened.

“Cisco, come on, what’s gotten into you? You sound like Oliver right now,” she said a little urgently. “Whatever’s going on, you can tell me.”

Cisco thought about it for a moment, but Felicity was right: she deserved to know. He’d been internalizing what had happened and he knew it wasn’t working, he _knew_ it, but using humor to shield himself was practically his default setting and he didn’t know how to operate any other way. But obviously the past five months hadn’t been working for him and he’d told himself that if he could work up the courage to talk to Barry and just be in the same room as him, he’d be able to start to put this whole thing behind him.

“Alright,” he said. “But you’re not going to like what you hear…”

Felicity put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Spill.”

He told her about how Zoom had captured him and Barry, how he had threatened Iris, that being the one thing that would always make Barry lose his cool and rush in blind. He had been totally against going in without a plan, but Barry was desperate and Cisco had just wanted to do what he could to help.

Barry had woken him in the middle of the night (phasing through his door and scaring the shit out of him wasn’t what Cisco had in mind when he had told Barry that he could wake him up for the important stuff, but they had been in best friend territory then so he figured Barry got a pass that time), frantic and wild-eyed, babbling about how Zoom was going to take Iris if Barry didn’t turn himself over, and how he needed Cisco’s help – no, Vibe’s help – to find him.

He continued on to the part where they had tried to set a trap for Zoom using the anti-speed serum again, but ended up walking into a trap themselves.

He had to stop and take a deep breath when he recalled how Zoom was working with Rainbow Raider – actually probably being threatened, based on the nervous look on Bivolo’s face. For her part, Felicity listened without interrupting, but her emotions were displayed plainly on her face as she squeezed his hand comfortingly.

Cisco told her how Bivolo had whammied Barry again, but it hadn’t been just anger this time. He’d known the second he saw the pale blue reflected in Barry’s eyes immediately after the red that it was despair too. Despair at never seeing Iris again, and the willingness to do anything to get her back. Cisco wasn’t sure why it had hit Barry so quickly this time, but if he had to guess, he’d say it might have been Barry’s agitated state that had made him more susceptible.

_“Destroy him. Make it hurt and Iris will be unharmed.”_

Zoom’s harsh voice would be ingrained in his memory forever.

And of course, Barry had obeyed. He didn’t blame him…sort of. Barry had been ready to just rush in with guns blazing and Cisco had tried to get him to see sense, to make a plan and tell the others, but Barry kept yelling about how there was no time. His rashness had been bound to get them in trouble some day, and they had paid the price this time.

He left out the part where, after, he had accidentally straight up vibed into the past. He wasn’t even sure how it had happened really, and it had only happened the one time, but he’d seen the moment that Zoom had met with Barry, the moment he’d told him to bring Cisco with him. God, if Barry had been thinking straight, that should’ve set off alarm bells right away. Why take the two of them if he was after the Flash’s speed?

When Snart had had him and Dante, he had done whatever it took to save Dante, so he couldn’t begrudge Barry for doing the same for Iris. Only, giving away your friend’s superhero identity was a little different than torturing your friend mindlessly for two days straight. Barry was at least a metahuman (one of the most powerful, at that) who could defend himself if necessary. Cisco was just a lab tech who stood no chance against someone like Zoom. Hell, even Barry was no match.

And he knew being under Rainbow Raider’s influence was nowhere near the same thing as free will – Barry freaking apologized to plants when he bumped into them – but the underlying feelings must’ve been there, he thought.

In any case, there was no way he could look at Barry – at his _torturer_ – the same way again. At least, not any time soon. And he wished he could, he really goddamn did. But where he tried to see his friend – the goofy, humble nerd turned superhero – all he could see were cold, dead eyes and rage on a face it didn’t ever belong on.

“And there you have it, that’s how this,” he gestured at himself, “happened.”

“Jesus, Cisco,” Felicity whispered. “Why didn’t you tell me? All those times we’ve texted and talked on the phone…”

“I don’t know…” he stammered. And he really didn’t know. Probably because of the shame of anyone seeing him like this. He told her that and she clucked her tongue in disapproval.

“Come on, how long have we known each other now? After all the times you’ve helped us? We’re here for you,” she said intently.

“Thanks, Felicity,” he smiled.

Ever the perceptive one, Felicity continued her line of questioning. “So, what about Barry? How’s _he_ dealing with it?”

“We…haven’t talked since. Not since seeing him gave me a panic attack that first month,” he admitted.

Felicity nodded. “When you’re ready though. You know he’s beating himself up for what happened to you.”

Boy, did he know that.

“I’m just here to clear my mind. I was thinking of trying to call him to set up a meeting soon. Baby steps, right?”

“That’s the spirit,” she said as she clapped him on the back. “Let me know if there’s anything you guys need-“

She was interrupted by the elevator opening.

“We’ve got a situation,” Oliver said, striding over to the workstation with Diggle in toe.

 

* * *

 

 

“Where the hell is he?!” Caitlin shouted to no one in particular.

“His crutches are gone, but the wheelchair’s still here,” Jay noted.

Caitlin was going to kill Cisco. It wasn’t like him to just wander off without telling anybody, especially not after what had happened with Zoom. A small part of her worried that something had happened to him again. They’d tried calling him multiple times now, but he’d turned his phone off for reasons she couldn’t fathom.

She’d called Iris and Joe, Dante as well, but they hadn’t heard anything from Cisco and she hadn’t wanted to alarm them.

“Can we track his phone? We could see where he was when it was turned off,” Jay suggested.

Caitlin raced over to the makeshift workstation. She wasn’t as good at this as Cisco, but she managed. Eyes on the prize.

“Dammit,” she glared at the computer screen. “Last known location is in the apartment.”

Jay looked over her shoulder. “What now?”

“I don’t _know_!” She didn’t mean to say it so forcefully, but she couldn’t help it. She didn’t want to make a mountain out of a molehill, but the last time Barry and Cisco went missing, they didn’t act soon _enough_ , and what did they have to show for it?

She was nearly hyperventilating and she knew it. _Get a hold of yourself_.

Jay pulled her into a comforting hug. “Don’t worry, we’ll find him. We should call Joe. Even if it hasn’t been 24 hours yet, he can still have everyone keep an eye out.”

He unhooked an arm around her to reach for his phone.

Caitlin sighed, her phone already in hand, and pulled up her contacts. “And Barry too. We’re gonna need his help if Cisco’s really missing.”

It wasn’t ideal, but she learned her lesson last time. Being proactive was a good thing.

 

* * *

 

 

“Multiple dead bodies in the Telekom building on Central and First. All of the victims with impact bruises on their torsos and, get this, ‘burns indicative of a direct lightning strike.’” Diggle slid the coroner reports toward them.

“What could’ve caused it?” Felicity said.

Cisco didn’t hear the rest of the conversation, mostly because he was thinking hard about the morgue case with Mardon a year ago.

“Cisco?” Felicity waved a hand in his face.

Oh, right. They were all staring at him now.

“Pull up the atmospheric data for the area. Just trust me.”

Diggle and Oliver gave him strange looks, but Felicity’s fingers were already flying over the keyboard.

“Got it, and…that’s weird. It says the pressure suddenly dropped last night just after 10 P.M.”

Cisco groaned. Why couldn’t any of his hunches ever be wrong?

“Something you wanna share with the class?” Diggle had his arms crossed.

“There’s a metahuman we fought last year – Weather Wizard. He could manipulate the weather like this. Fist-sized hail bombs, lightning, the whole shebang. But, we _caught_ him.”

Seriously, they had. Barry had watched Patty take him away to Iron Heights again. It was extremely unlikely that there were any other metahumans out there who had gained their powers in the exact way the Mardon brothers had. So how had he escaped?

“Clearly not,” Oliver interrupted his musing. “How do we beat him?”

All business then. Cisco squared his shoulders. “I can build something again that’ll disrupt the unbound atmospheric electrons around him and cut off his–“

“No time for that.” Felicity’s fingers danced across the keyboard in a rapid staccato. “Reports of dropping pressure again at the plaza on 34th and–“ she tapped the final keystroke dramatically, “Market Street. Jesus, it’ll be packed now. It’s almost lunch time.”

“How long will it take you to build this thing?” Oliver asked, already suiting up.

“Two hours tops. I’m on it now.”

“Dig, hang back and bring it to me when he’s done.” Diggle nodded and Oliver was off.

*

Cisco worked rapidly, Felicity and Diggle maneuvering out of his way as he wheeled his chair from workstation to workstation. His mind was singularly focused and this was a welcome distraction from the thoughts that had been plaguing him lately. He’d built the weather wand twice now, and the actions were familiar enough that they required minimal concentration. But it was enough that his brain didn’t have time for any wandering thoughts, his mind somewhere between alert and on call.

“Almost done,” he mumbled, more to himself than his audience as he finished soldering the circuitry.

“There,” he said triumphantly.

Dig was already up, holding his hand out for the wand as he paged into the comm. “Oliver, I’m heading to you now.”

“Don’t bother.” Their heads turned at the sound of Oliver’s voice. He limped in with a hand over his side. “He got away. Anything you want to share with us, Cisco?”

“Uh, no?”

“He was waiting for me to show up. He wanted to know where _you_ were, wasn’t even interested in a fight.” Oliver pulled his quiver off, his look stern.

“I seriously have no idea, dude. I haven’t seen or even thought about him since we put him away last time.” And okay, if Oliver was going to blindly accuse him then he was more than entitled to being a little irritated.

“Nothing? You put us all in danger by leading him here,” he makes a sweeping motion toward Felicity and Diggle, “so why are you really in Star City, Cisco?” His voice had gradually risen as he spoke, and Cisco had forgotten how quick Oliver was to anger. Like a flashpoint. He was about to raise his own voice in irritation when–

“Can I talk to you for a minute, Oliver?” Felicity looked _pissed_. She didn’t wait for an answer before dragging him off to one of the side rooms.

Cisco was left staring after them, not really sure where to direct his irritation now.

Diggle coughed. “So, I’m guessing you really have no idea why this meta’s after you then?”

“Seriously, man?”

Dig shrugged. “Just wanted to be sure. You know he didn’t mean it though, right? When something threatens the people he cares about, Oliver can be a little…”

“Douchey?” Cisco supplied.

Diggle snorted. “Something like that.”

Boy, did Cisco know it. He knew Oliver meant well – it was the exact same thing with Vandal Savage – but it hurt to not be trusted. He’d always been open about everything, his identity as a metahuman and his injuries from Barry notwithstanding, but those were deeply personal and had never endangered anyone.

“Come on, give him the benefit of the doubt here. He’s been under a lot of stress lately.”

Cisco scoffed. “Sure, whatever.”

Dig sighed, but took that to be the end of the conversation because he sat down at one of the workstations and started tinkering with his weapons.

It was a few minutes later that Felicity returned, Oliver right on her heels.

“Right, now that that’s over with,” she said, clapping her hands together and looking at Oliver expectantly.

He looked sheepish, one hand rubbing at the back of his neck, eyes cast downward on the floor. Felicity Smoak: scarier than Deathstroke, indeed.

“I…sorry for jumping to conclusions.” He looked directly at Cisco, “I got a little carried away and I didn’t mean what I said. After everything you’ve done for us, we – _I_ – trust you, Cisco,” he said earnestly. With conviction. It was easy to see why people viewed the Green Arrow as a hero.

Cisco sighed. How could he stay angry at that?

“No worries, man. I get where you were coming from. Let’s just focus on catching this guy, yeah?”

Oliver nodded.

“About that,” Diggle said, standing now to join them. “Any ideas why this guy is after you? It could help us figure out his next move.”

Cisco shook his head. “I didn’t even think he knew who I was. Pretty sure I can help with the second thing though,” he said, already swinging over to his backpack. Damn, these crutches needed to go.

He pulled out the vibing glasses – he hadn’t even had a chance to name them yet when all the crap with Zoom went down – and rejoined the group.

 _Here goes nothing_ , he thought.

“I’ve…my powers have been growing and I can, uh, sort of see the future now.” He scratched the back of his neck self-consciously. “Pretty sure I can get a lock on the next time Weather Wizard is gonna strike.”

“That’s…pretty impressive,” Dig conceded.

“How does it work?” Felicity asked. For his part, Oliver just looked on with polite interest.

“The glasses stimulate dopamine receptors in the brain. Not sure why, but we figured out that my powers are linked to adrenaline, sometimes fear too.”

He honestly hadn’t worn the glasses since the trip to Earth-2. After the fiasco with Zoom and Rainbow Raider, he’d spent most of his time recovering, and when it didn’t hurt to move anymore, he’d spent so long moping and feeling awful at himself that he hadn’t even thought about the glasses or vibing. There were so many things he was curious about and so many aspects of his powers to explore, but he had been in a bad place then, and it had been nearly impossible to dig himself out of that pit of despair. Now though, now he had a chance to use his powers for good, and he hadn’t felt so alive in _months_.

_You could be a god._

Reverb’s words echoed in his thoughts. He _did_ want to learn how to use his powers, but with all that had happened right after returning from Earth-2, there just hadn’t been any time. Could he also learn to use them offensively? Could he learn to use them without becoming like…like his doppelganger? No more hiding, he resolved to himself. But one step at a time.

He slipped on the glasses and was bombarded by time itself, hundreds of scenes playing out simultaneously for him to see. He reached out, trying to focus on Mardon the way Harry had walked him through finding the Reverse Flash the first time.

This time, though, it came so easily to him. It was like he was being pulled right to the scene he was looking for – Mardon blasting his way through the Telekom building again. He checked his watch and, huh, he didn’t think that would work, but the display read 4:52 P.M. and his gut feeling told him it was accurate.

He pulled the glasses off and the whiplash from being thrown back into the present was insane. Blinking a few times and shaking his head, he reoriented himself and relayed the information to the team.

“We’ve got a couple of hours then,” Oliver said, pulling off his suit and dabbing gingerly at a fading burn on his ribcage.

“What happened there?” Dig asked. His expression contained traces of mild concern and curiosity both, as could only have come from years of working with Oliver.

“Lightning strike. When I told…Weather Wizard,” he made a face at the choice of name, “that I didn’t know where Cisco was, he threw a lightning blast at me and flew off.”

“ _WHAT?!_ ”

Felicity was by his side in an instant, fussing over him and inspecting him for any other wounds. “Why the hell didn’t you say anything sooner? How did you even survive getting struck by lightning?”

Cisco chimed in. “The suit’s insulated to withstand extreme temperatures. There’s a double carbon fiber layer on the inside that would direct electricity down and away from the body. Didn’t think he’d _actually_ get hit by lightning though…”

“Well done,” Oliver grunted, clapping him on the shoulder and moving to grab the first aid kit.

A _thank you for saving my life, Cisco_ would’ve been nice, but coming from Oliver, a _well done_ was probably the highest praise one could get, Cisco supposed.

“Sweetie, it hardly even hurts anymore. It’s not as bad as it looks,” he said gently, rubbing soothing circles on the back of her hand.

“It doesn’t even look that bad to begin with,” Cisco added. He promptly shut up at the dirty look Felicity shot him.

She dragged Oliver away again, presumably to patch him up, but turned around to mouth a ‘thank you’ to Cisco before disappearing around the corner.

“So, now we play the waiting game,” Dig said. His attention was refocused back on Cisco.

“Actually,” a boyish enthusiasm lit up Cisco’s face. “There were some mods I had in mind for your mask and gun…”

 

* * *

 

 

“What the hell do you mean ‘he’s missing’?”

Barry’s hands were pressed against his temples and he was more than a little distressed.

“I _mean_ , I woke up and–“

“Where have you tried looking so far?” he pressed on, words slurring together in a flurry at the end.

Jay pulled up the data on the computer. “Tried to track his phone but it’s off, and the last known location was in the apartment, so–“

“You checked around the neighborhood?”

“Yeah, we tried but no one’s seen–“

Barry growled. “Okay…okay. Just–” He looked contemplative, his eyeballs flitting around rapidly. He was gone in a blast of air and back again a second later in the suit.

“Could you…?” He gestured to the cowl’s earpiece and Caitlin nodded curtly, already heading to the workstation to establish the comm link.

He was gone again, the draft from his speed much more violent this time.

“You guys really need to invest in some paperweights,” Jay said from his position on the floor. He finished picking up the assorted papers and joined Caitlin at the monitors.

Barry’s tracker showed him methodically zooming up and down the gridlines of Central City.

“Jesus, he’s going faster than Mach 3,” Jay said, staring at the monitor.

“He’s…been getting faster.”

“I barely broke Mach 1, back when I was the Flash,” Jay mused.

“Any sign of him?” Caitlin asked, completely ignoring that line of conversation.

She took Barry’s subsequent grunt as a negative.

As they watched Barry cover in seconds what would have taken them the greater part of a day, they allowed themselves to relax a bit. While they were all worried about Cisco, there wasn’t much they could do that Barry wasn’t already out there doing.

Caitlin reached into her bag and pulled out a green vial.

“Just in case Barry needs help,” she said quietly, pushing it towards Jay. “Velocity 9. The degenerating effects on your body should be nearly eliminated now.” And it really was to Jay’s credit that he didn’t even hesitate before nodding. She’d known how reluctant he was to use the Velocity serum to save Harry, and again to rescue Cisco the first time.

*

_“Bring him over to the gurney,” Caitlin shouted as Jay raced over to comply with her orders._

_He placed Cisco tenderly onto the stretcher. Cisco’s face was ashen and Jay was trembling, pale as a ghost as he took stock of the mangled body before him._

_Caitlin was racing around, hooking up various monitors and scanners and barking out frantic orders to Harry._

_“Jay! JAY!” Caitlin had been all but shouting at him to get his attention._

_“Wake the hell up, Garrick!” Harry pushed him over to the bedside where Caitlin was beckoning him._

_“There’s something lodged in his left lung. You have to get it out NOW.”_

_Jay nodded before vibrating his hand and diving in, almost exactly the same as the first time he’d done it. He grabbed his forearm with his free hand as the one that had just extracted the shrapnel suddenly shook violently._

_“Dammit, I think the serum’s wearing off.”_

_Harry was already by his side with another vial loaded into the delivery gun._

_“I’m not sure what’ll happen if you take too much in such a short time…” Harry trailed off, averting his gaze. Like he wanted to tell Jay not to do it, but couldn’t quite bring himself to get the rest of the words out. Dammit, Jay didn’t have time for this. Without thinking about it any further, he thrust the syringe into his forearm and felt the familiar surge of adrenaline, of time dilating around him and the Speed Force enveloping him again._

_He zipped over to the gurney. “Okay, what else?”_

_“We need to set his arm, and it would help if you–“_

_She was interrupted by the harsh, high-pitched beeping from the heart rate monitor._

_“He’s crashing, get the cart!”_

_Caitlin pivoted, grabbing the defibrillator from Jay and charging._

_There was a sudden crash and a yell and Jay turned to see Harry with his arms spread wide, blocking Barry’s entry into the med bay._

_“Get the hell out of here, Allen,” Wells said, pushing him back to the corridor._

_“BUT I CAN HELP!”_

_He was nearly spitting, his voice cracking and as angry as he was when Harry had suggested that they let Eobard go to save Cisco._

_“Not now, Barry. We’ve got it under control,” Caitlin said dismissively, not bothering to look up from the mess of a human sprawled in front of her. She managed to stabilize him, but just barely._

_“Any chance you can phase through his arm and match up the broken pieces? It would help when I splint it,” Caitlin said, her clinical detachment drawing him back from the other scene playing out behind them._

_“Yeah, got it,” Jay said._

_*_

“Barry, there’s some metahuman activity near CCPD. Could be nothing, but could be Zoom,” Caitlin said into the comms. “Reports are still coming in, but I’ll have more info in a–“

“Got him. He’s in the pipeline now. What else?”

“That was fast,” Jay said with surprise. “Anyone get h–“

“WHAT. ELSE.”

Jay put his hands up in surrender. He clearly wasn’t used to dealing with Barry at his most reckless, so Caitlin answered instead.

“Calm down, we’ll find him. No reports of anything suspicious yet. You’ve already swept the southeast and northeast quadrants. You’re coming up on the northwest now. Hang right on 6th then left onto Blaine – no, wait, right. Sorry–“

“Dammit, Caitlin!”

There was the sound of skidding and a crash before the screen indicated that he was moving again.

“Sorry, sorry,” she said quickly. “Left onto 1st and you should be able to go block by block like you’ve been doing.”

She sighed. Cisco had usually been the one to direct Barry, with the rest of them chiming in with support when they could. The two of them had connected so easily, having a rapport that allowed them to become instant friends. With Cisco down for the count, she had been out watching over him and it fell to Jay and Harry to work the comms. She wondered how it was going and made a mental note to ask Jay when things settled down.

 

* * *

 

“Grab the schematics from my desk, will you?” Cisco said in Felicity’s general direction. She and Diggle had been watching with interest as he worked on Diggle’s gun and drew up various plans for the Arrow Cave (the copper wiring was still a sore point for Cisco).

“There. Added a taser mode and expanded the bullet chamber so you should be able to carry 50% more ammo. Just gonna put the finishing touches on now,” he said absently, gesturing over to Felicity for the requested plans.

“Cisco? What’s this?”

“Huh?” Cisco reluctantly broke his concentration and looked over at Felicity.

 _Oh shit, abort abort abort_.

He rolled over to the desk and snatched the folder from her.

“Nothing, just medical files,” he grumbled.

Felicity wasn’t letting it go though.

“How are you gonna come up with that kind of money? I saw the letter from your insurance company.”

“I’ll…I’m taking care of it. Come on, Felicity, just drop it…”

He sounded defeated even to his ears, but even worse than accepting charity was the pitying tone in Felicity’s voice.

“We could help you, Cisco,” she broached carefully. “That’s…I mean, it’s practically pennies for Oliver.”

“Please, just…don’t.”

Felicity was sharing a look with Diggle and Cisco’s cheeks burned, acutely aware that he was currently the center of attention.

“Game time.”

Cisco thanked any gods in existence that Oliver had chosen that moment to make his entrance.

“Uh, everything okay?” He paused at the look on Cisco’s face and the awkward glances Felicity and Diggle were stealing at each other.

“Just peachy,” Cisco muttered, rolling back over to his workstation to grab the weather wand. “Be careful, this guy almost killed Barry once.”

Oliver nodded. “Diggle, stay with them just in case.”

“Got it.”

And with that, Oliver was off. Felicity was manning the comms and the previous conversation was effectively – thankfully – tabled until further notice. He knew he was being stupid, but it was a pride thing. Coming from nothing and having to fight his way to the top, even when he got to S.T.A.R. Labs – _especially_ when he got to S.T.A.R. – had fostered an independent streak in him.

They all waited with baited breath as Oliver got into position, Felicity navigating him through the Telekom building.

And then the fighting began in full. From what Cisco could hear, and from the spotty security footage Felicity managed to pull up, it was mostly Oliver on the defensive until he could neutralize Mardon’s powers.

“I can’t get a direct hit on him,” Oliver grunted. “Any ideas?”

Felicity turned to Cisco. “Uh, not really sure. Barry was always just fast enough.”

Oliver’s voice dripped with sarcasm. “Fantastic.”

Although…Cisco reached for the goggles. Theoretically, it should have been possible. He’d been thinking about it ever since that first time he had been able to glimpse the future, and even moreso when Reverb had demonstrated what his powers were really capable of. If he could see the future, then surely he’d be able to provide real-time feedback in an actual fight. He knew that everything had been leading up to him taking a on a more active role with his powers, but it was one thing to think it and another thing entirely to _do_ it.

Well, no time like the present. He slid on the goggles.

“I’m gonna try something,” he said.

He was working his way through the mess in front of him, seeking out Oliver and Mardon. It was an indescribable feeling of just _knowing_ what to do, almost like he was a magnet being drawn to its opposite, but also so much more than that. It was almost overwhelming.

“You’re tailing him on a rooftop now?” Cisco asked. And it was seriously disorienting to speak in the present while existing in the future.

Oliver confirmed.

“Hang tight. I think he’s gonna double back. Be ready for some lighting.”

And sure enough, the tell-tale clap of accompanying thunder sounded over the comms a few seconds later. The world around him dissolved and reformed itself.

Right. He’d thought this would happen. Once Oliver avoided the blast that was meant for him, the future reorganized and set itself on a new path.

He watched the two of them dance around each other until he saw an opening: Mardon sent forth a barrage of hail bombs and Oliver responded by grappling off the roof and across to the opposite building. Mardon left himself wide open and Oliver would’ve had a clear shot, except…

Cisco took a deep breath.

“There’s another blast headed your way, but don’t jump over to the next roof. If you can take cover, you should have a small opening right after.”

He waited with baited breath as he watched the scene play out in front of him, their virtual stalemate continuing before dissolving away to Oliver standing over a decidedly unconscious Mardon. He ripped the goggles off to Felicity fist bumping the air and Dig clapping him on the back.

“That was pretty awesome, man,” Dig said with a wide grin.

And okay. Cisco would be lying if said that _wasn’t_ awesome. He could only imagine how much easier their lives would’ve been if he’d been able to do that a year ago, although he wasn’t entirely sure how it would work with Barry’s super speed. He supposed that if it was just Barry against an enemy at normal speed, it would be possible to coordinate the present and the future, but against another speedster? Probably not.

He was interrupted from his thoughts by Felicity, who knocked him in the shoulder for a high-five.

“Seriously, that was amazing. Why didn’t you tell me you could do that?”

“I didn’t know I could until I did it,” he shrugged, but it was hard not to smile.

“So, how far into the future can you see, exactly? Do you know who I’m gonna marry? I mean, not that I want you to spoil it for me or anything, but I just figured…” she rambled on amid Dig’s laughter.

And Cisco couldn’t help but join in, because this was great. Fantastic, even.

*

That was, until Oliver returned with Mardon in toe and insisted on interrogating him. They still had no idea why Weather Wizard was after Cisco in the first place, or even how he knew about Cisco.

Cisco forced himself to watch for the first few minutes, mostly in case he gave up any interesting information. It was unnerving to watch Oliver at work, though. That laser-focused intent was intimidating enough, but the carefully calculated blows Oliver delivered so casually – as if they were motions he’d gone through a thousand times before…hell, he probably had – that had Mardon screaming bloody murder fucking terrified Cisco.

Barry had told him once that Oliver had interrogated him when he’d figured out the Arrow’s secret identity, but he’d sworn up and down that Oliver hadn’t hurt him. Still though, he wasn’t sure how Barry could look Oliver in the face after that. Just seeing the process was disturbing enough, Mardon strung up like a turkey and Oliver questioning him relentlessly.

He was on the verge of throwing up when Diggle led him away from the holding room.

“Best not to watch that stuff. Most people don’t have the stomach for it,” he said quietly.

That was the understatement of the century, but Cisco didn’t bother saying it.

“There you guys are,” Felicity said, walking briskly over to them. “We got some information out of him. He’s claiming _Zoom_ sent him. Not to kill you or bring you to him though…just to ‘terrify you.’ His words, not mine,” she said, at Cisco’s skeptical look.

“He said he has no idea what Zoom wants with you.” Oliver strode in, wiping his hands on a dirty looking cloth.

“I wonder how you know that…” Cisco knew he sounded petulant.

To his credit, Oliver just looked at him like he was particularly dense.

“We’ll transfer him to Lian Yu, he’ll probably be more secure there.”

Diggle nodded and moved to make the arrangements, leaving an awkward silence in his wake.

“ _So_ , I believe this calls for a celebratory dinner!” Felicity said, a bit of false cheer in her voice.

Cisco could drink to that, though.

“Let’s head back and freshen up first. You can stay in the guest room as long as you like.”

“Sweet. Just tonight though.” It was great to clear his mind, but Central City was home, and he’d have to face it eventually.

*

He’d been freshening up in his room when–

“Hi, Cisco.”

He squealed like a little girl.

“Don’t do that!” He clutched his chest and tried to slow his breathing. His heart felt like it had dropped right down into his stomach and through his intestines.

“How the hell did you even get in here?!” He had definitely locked the door.

Oliver’s grin was sharp, his fingers twiddling with a bobby pin. He could be a scary motherfucker sometimes without even trying, although Cisco suspected it was completely intentional in this case.

“I’m just going to cut to the chase,” he said, all business. “Felicity told me about your medical situation.”

Cisco groaned. “Not you, too?”

“It’s already done: an anonymous transfer to your bank account. No take backs.”

Cisco spluttered. “I – y-you can’t just go and _do_ something like that.”

Oliver’s look implied that yes, he very well could do just that. He thought about hacking it back into Oliver’s account later, but Felicity would probably just hack him right back.

“Seriously, I can’t just accept that much money,” he said, a little more frantically.

“Then don’t think of like that. Just think of it as owing me a favor in return.”

“A five hundred thousand dollar favor?” He still wasn’t completely appeased, but okay, working for the money was better than just outright taking it.

“Sure, if you want to put it that way.” Oliver shrugged. “You don’t have to do that though,” he said earnestly, his nonchalant expression changing in an instant. “What would _you_ do if Caitlin or Barry was in your shoes and you had almost unlimited money at your disposal?”

“Friends can help friends without wanting anything in return. And I know that sounds…hypocritical coming from me, but that’s what being with Felicity, and what having Diggle by my side this whole time has taught me.”

 _Friends_. Cisco wasn’t sure what he did in a past life to deserve this much loyalty – from Oliver, from Felicity and Caitlin and Jay – but he was infinitely grateful for it.

“Alright, deal,” he said, still in a half-daze.

“That’s more like it.” Oliver grinned and squeezed his shoulder. “Be downstairs in 15. We’re leaving at 7 sharp.”

 

* * *

 

 

Barry zipped into the apartment and pulled the cowl off, panting and drenched in a layer of sweat thick enough to look like he’d just ran through a torrential downpour. When he stumbled over his own feet, Jay tossed him a few protein bars.

“What next?” Barry flashed through the protein bars in seconds and the familiar spark of lightning was back in his eyes, his body straightening and ready to go once more.

“Joe said there hasn’t been any sign of him, and it hasn’t been twenty-four hours yet

so there’s not much he can do in an official capacity,” Caitlin said.

Jay’s voice was quiet.  “We were supposed to hang out tonight and finally build those jet-propulsion boots he’s been talking about…”

Truthfully, Caitlin was worried sick, but acting irrationally and out of fear had never helped anyone – not when she lost Ronnie, not when she’d operated on Cisco, and certainly not now. She could only do so much to keep calm, though. It was like when Zoom took Barry and Cisco all over again, when they’d waited hours to start the search. Precious hours that might have made all the difference as far as Cisco’s extremities were concerned.

She felt helpless like this – they all did. While Barry was fast enough to canvas the streets on the off chance that Cisco might be spotted, it didn’t rule out the thousands of buildings and warehouses that someone could be holding him in. _If_ someone was holding him at all, she reminded herself. True, it wasn’t like Cisco to wander off, and he was fairly attached to his phone, but he could have just needed some fresh air…he was a grown adult after all. Although, after everything that had happened, she was sure he’d have at least told them where he was going.

“Hang on, there’s something coming in now.” Jay pulled up the maps.

“Wait, his phone’s back on and…Star City?” he said, just as confused as Caitlin felt.

“How fast can you get there?” he asked Barry.

He was already pulling the mask back on. “Fast.”

 

* * *

 

 

“And then I told him, _‘Bye, Felicia!_ ’”

“No, you didn’t!” Felicity said with a dramatic gasp.

“…who’s Felicia?” Oliver was the picture of confusion and it was actually kind of adorable.

Felicity snorted. “I’ll explain it later.” She turned back to Cisco. “So, what’s next for you? What are you guys even up to now? You and Caitlin, I mean.”

“Eh, not much. We still help Barry out, but me and her, we’ve been living together for now, just so she can…you know, take care of me,” he finished by gesturing at himself. “And – _crap_ , hang on –“

He knew he was forgetting something. Jay was supposed to be coming over tonight. _For science_ , they’d told Caitlin when she’d looked at the schematics and threw her hands up, asking what on Earth they needed ‘Iron Man boots’ (as she’d called them) for.

He pulled out his phone to check the time and – yup, that was his very dead phone that he’d forgotten about in the excitement of the day’s events.

“Battery pack?” Felicity was already rummaging through her purse for said item and passed it over to him.

“Thanks, you’re the best.”

“Obviously.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “What was that about?”

“Ah, I was supposed to meet up with a friend tonight, but my phone’s been dead since I got to Central City. Shit, they probably wanna know where I am.”

The second he turned it on, he was bombarded by a stream of missed calls. Three from Caitlin, one from Jay, another from Caitlin, one from Joe, two more from Jay. Great, they definitely thought he was dead in a gutter somewhere.

Before he even had a chance to type out a text, his phone was ringing.

_Cisco?! Why the hell are you in Star City? Are you okay?_

He sighed. “Yeah Jay, everything’s fine. I just…took a trip for the day to visit Felicity, clear my mind, you know? My phone died before I even left the apartment, and we got distracted by – oh yeah, uh, you guys are gonna wanna hear this – Weather Wizard is in Star City, apparently looking for me to–“

 _Cisco, what the_ fuck _?_

Oh god, that was Caitlin. That was Caitlin _swearing_ , which Cisco had never heard once in the entire time he’d known her.

“I, uh, sorry?” He knew inadequate didn’t even begin to describe his apology.

 _We’ve been sitting here all fucking day thinking you’ve been taken by Zoom and you’re ‘hanging out’ with Felicity?_ She wasn’t even shouting, just that low, frantic whisper she always took on when she was freaking out and trying not to show it.

He shot Felicity a desperate look but she held up her hands in diplomatic appeasement.

“Sorry, sorry, I know it’s my bad, but I can totally explain when I get back. I meant to text you guys right after I left, but then Oliver had an emergency and we just – I just got sidetracked. But I promise there’s a good explanation.”

He didn’t hear her response to that because a sudden, forceful wind blew across the dining hall, knocking all the dishes and cutlery off their table – and every table around theirs – in a symphony of shattering glass.

When he turned around, the Flash was standing there, lighting crackling along his suit and _fuck_ , that was _Barry_ standing not twenty feet away from him.

He couldn’t breathe. He didn’t even register Caitlin calling his name, or dropping his phone. He scrambled backwards and nearly fell on his back, except there were strong arms wrapped around him, holding him upright.

Other guests were pulling out their phones and taking pictures and Barry was still just standing there. He never understood it when Barry had tried to explain the whole _time slowing down_ business to him before, but Cisco thought he got it now, because it really did feel like seconds were dragging on to minutes and hours, him standing awkwardly propped up against Oliver and Barry looking like a deer in headlights.

Finally, Felicity broke the tension. It could have been mere seconds or more than a minute, Cisco had no idea. But she said something to Oliver that he didn’t catch, and then she was walking over to Barry. That was when he realized that he was being carried bridal style out of the restaurant.

 

* * *

 

 

Cisco was sat at one of the chairs by Felicity’s monitors, elbows propped against the sleek glass surface, crutches leaning precariously on the armrest. He really needed to tell Felicity to get more comfy chairs at some point.

 _Deep breaths_ , he told himself.

He wanted to do this. He _had_ to do this.

Felicity had gone upstairs to get Barry. He had no idea what would happen next, though. There was no script for this. He just prayed he wouldn’t freak out again, for both his and Barry’s sakes.

_It wasn’t Barry. He didn’t know what he was doing. He didn’t know what he was doing._

He slid his fingers through his hair and pulled at the ends. He knew he shouldn’t have been this nervous, but reconciling the fact that Barry was his normal self now with the nightmarish images that played in his mind on repeat was nearly impossible.

But he didn’t have time to dwell on that any further because the elevator dinged and Felicity was walking in, Barry hidden slightly behind her.

“So, um, I’ll just be upstairs with Oliver if that’s alright?” She looked between the two of them apprehensively.

Cisco nodded, and the seconds stretched out as Felicity headed back into the elevator and the doors closed behind her.

He took stock of Barry. Immediately, he noticed that his face was gaunter than before they’d both been taken by Zoom. It was subtle, especially with Barry’s hair slicked up as usual, but there was no way he wouldn’t have noticed. He looked…well, the suit still fit him to a tee, like a second skin that only he could don, and he looked every bit the hero, only Cisco could only think of Barry all looped up on Bivolo’s influence when he was wearing the suit like that…

He swallowed audibly.

“Hey, do you think…could you, uh…” _Dammit, use your words, Cisco._ “Could you, um, the suit…” he mimicked pulling his own shirt up.

Barry’s eyes widened. He sped off and was back shortly after, wearing what Cisco presumed were sweatpants and a loose-fitting tee borrowed from Oliver. The two of them were of a similar height, but Oliver was far more built and his clothes swamped Barry.

They stayed like that for a while, Barry hovering near the railing by the entryway and Cisco still sitting in the chair. Barry shuffled from foot to foot, and it was obvious to Cisco that he was nearly as nervous as he was.

“I, uh – hang on…” He pulled himself up on the crutches, beginning to hobble his way over to the stairs.

Barry looked torn between helping and staying put, if his outstretched hand was any indication.

“Don’t,” Cisco grunted.

He hobbled slowly, step-by-step, until he was moving past Barry and leaning against the elevator, dropping the crutches and lowering himself gingerly as Barry mirrored his actions and sat against the railing.

 _Here they were_ , Cisco thought. Finally in the same room, the good twenty feet of space between them a physical representation of the distance in their friendship fostered by so many months apart.

“It’s good to see you, man,” he offered tentatively. He meant it sincerely.

“Cis- shit, Cisco, I’m so, so sorry…for everything. I tried to fight it, but I just couldn’t and I…god, Cisco, you must hate me.”

Barry’s eyes were so wide and sincere, his heart worn on his sleeve, and Cisco wanted to reach out to him – would have in another life, but what was he supposed to say? What was there to say? Where was he even supposed to begin? The truth was that Barry just didn’t _think_ sometimes. He was so completely ready to sacrifice himself for Iris that it hadn’t even occurred to him that he was walking straight into a trap and Cisco would be the one to suffer most for it.

It was like Eobard and the containment field all over again. Cisco had thought about this far harder than he’d let on to the others (he hadn’t actually mentioned it to anyone else at all). The second that not-Eobard walked through the containment field, he’d thought he was dead. Sure, it turned out to be Everyman in the end, but they hadn’t known that at the time. The moment Joe had pulled the trigger would be seared in Cisco’s memory forever. Barry’s scream, him racing after the bullets to save the _Reverse Flash’s_ life. They’d had no way of knowing if Thawne was just good enough to pass through the containment field, and if Barry had actually managed to stop that last bullet, what then? No matter which way he thought about it, that left him dead, with a vibrating hand through his heart. Again. He got that Barry’s dad’s freedom was on the line, he _got_ that, but every time he asked himself what he would do in Barry’s shoes had their positions been reversed, he would have chosen Barry’s life over a confession. Every single time. For any one of them. Barry, Caitlin, Iris, or Joe. He knew that getting his dad out of prison had been Barry’s main focus since he had become the Flash, but it had hurt, knowing where his priorities lay.

He doubted that it had been an active decision that he might let Cisco die to get that confession, just as he was sure Barry hadn’t knowingly led him into Zoom’s trap. But for some reason, Zoom had wanted Cisco there that night – that much was exceedingly obvious. Cisco had just thought Barry needed a hand tracking down Zoom, but it had been more like Zoom wanted Cisco _specifically_ to track him down.

Where Barry had interpreted Zoom’s words to mean that Cisco would be able to vibe the location of his hideout, Cisco had seen a trap in flashing neon lights. And it wasn’t that Barry had lied. His fatal flaw was that he cared too much sometimes. It was what Cisco loved and admired about Barry. It was what made him _him_. But that protective instinct was like a singular focus that clouded his judgment to everything else. The consequences could have been so severe that first time with Everyman, but they were beyond severe this time with Zoom. A living nightmare. One that Cisco had had to live with every day for the past six months.

He wanted to reach out, to say that there was nothing to forgive, but one look at his own body reminded him how much of a lie that was.

Instead, he said “We’ll figure it out, Barry. We always do.”

_The universe wants us to be bros._

After the accelerator explosion, he couldn’t imagine a life where he and Barry weren’t friends, but it was going to take a long while before they could work themselves back to where they used to be.

“I’m not gonna pretend like everything’s all good, but this is a start, right?”

“I’ll make it up to you, Cisco. I promise. However long it takes, I will,” Barry said earnestly. He had that determined look in his eye that he got whenever he was about to go on a particularly challenging mission.

Cisco nodded.

“Come on, I’m exhausted after today, and you’ve probably gotta get back to Central City anyway.” He slowly hoisted himself back on his feet. “But…you should stop by the apartment sometime. It’s been a while since it was just the three of us,” he offered.

Barry grinned. It was tentative, but it was there all the same. “I’d like that a lot.”

And it wasn’t perfect, but Cisco knew that that wouldn’t stop them from putting the pieces back together.


	5. (real talk pt. 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ScienceBros continued

“What is this place?” Jay looked around in pure wonderment.

“It’s my lab, dude. _Mi casa es tu casa_.” Cisco flipped on the lights.

“No, I mean, why? S.T.A.R. Labs is like an engineer’s dream come true.”

“True, but you weren’t here last year, man. Caitlin told you about the singularity, right?”

“Yeah…” Jay looked up from where he was rifling through the scattered blueprints and half-finished prototypes. “It was where she lost him, right?”

Cisco nodded. He still missed Ronnie sometimes, and it didn’t help that the last time he had seen his face was on his evil Earth-2 doppelgänger. But Jay definitely didn’t need to hear his angsting right now, especially since Cisco knew he was having some reservations about moving so quickly with Caitlin after he’d found out she’d lost Ronnie.

“Anyway,” he continued, “after the singularity, Wells left S.T.A.R. Labs to Barry, and he was off doing his solo act and refusing to let anyone inside the lab. Caitlin had her thing at Mercury Labs, but all I had was my parents’ garage, which, not ever happening, man. Do you know how sad that would be?”

“So you, what? Rented this place like your own Dexter’s lab?”

Cisco snapped his fingers at him. “Nice. Many a prototype has been perfected in this place, I’ll have you know. Pass the Allen wrench?”

Jay tossed it over to him. “The others know about this place?”

“Wrong size, dude. I need the five-eighths. And no, you serious? This place is for us mechanical engineers only.”

Jay beamed. “I’ve _gotta_ show you my lab sometime. Maybe not as nice as this, but it’s adequate.” And there was that boyish enthusiasm lighting up his face again. “When we defeat Zoom, I’ll take you and Cait on a tour of Earth-2.”

“Cheers to that.” He held an expectant hand up high and Jay went right in.

“Jesus, you have to show up the rest of us nerds out by working out, too?” Cisco made a show of shaking his hand out.

“Speed Force side effect,” Jay smirked. “Never worked out a day in my life before the particle accelerator accident.”

Cisco squinted at him. He definitely believed Barry when he’d said he’d gotten a C in gym, but there was no way Jay didn’t work out regularly – he’d eat his left arm otherwise.

“Seriously, dude? You and Barry got all the luck. You guys got abs and powers that are actually useful in a fight. All I got were headaches and nightmares.”

“Still?” Jay looked up with concern, pausing from rummaging through the drawers.

“It’s getting better, but yeah. Mostly the nightmare-type vibes, now. Reliving events, etc. etc. Soldering iron’s in the third drawer from the bottom, by the way.”

“Got it. I was thinking…I’m not Harrison Wells, but I think I could come up with something to reverse the amplifying effects of the goggles. It would stop you from vibing in your sleep. I was gonna ask Cait about it tomorrow.”

“Sweet, thanks bro. I was gonna talk to Harry before he left, but I ended up forgetting.”

“Of course.”

 

* * *

 

 

They worked in companionable silence for the next few minutes until Jay cleared his throat.

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

Cisco lifted his goggles up, sensing that whatever Jay was about to drop was going to be more serious than the previous line of conversation, if Jay’s nervous fidgeting was anything to go by.

“Say I wanted to take Caitlin out to a really nice dinner. You know, our one month anniversary is coming up and all.” He sounded uncharacteristically nervous. “Where would I take her?”

Cisco knew he was being an ass, but he couldn’t resist. He raised an eyebrow. “You don’t have any ideas?”

“W-well, I just thought, since you know her best…”

He raised his other eyebrow then narrowed his eyes. “And whyyyy should I trust you with this information?”

Jay visibly straightened at that and cleared his throat. “Well, we’ve been dating for four weeks now and she makes me happier than anyone else. We’re both scientists trying to make the world a better place, and I hope one day she’ll look at me the same way I look at her,” he said eagerly.

And he was legitimately, genuinely smiling at the end.

“Oh my god, you dork. I was kidding! I seriously can’t believe guys like you exist.” Cisco rolled his eyes affectionately. “I know you guys are happy together. She gushes about you _all the time_.”

“She does?” Jay perked up at that.

“Well, not when you’re around, obviously. But okay, try this. She says Thai food is her favorite, right?”

Jay nodded, listening with rapt attention to his every word.

“It’s not, though. Not since I introduced her to arroz con pollo. She’s got a _huge_ soft spot for Puerto Rican food. So here’s what you do: my uncle owns that place in Petersburg on Central Ave. Take her there, and he’ll cook you guys up something nice. Oh, and she loves those trashy Cadbury Creme Eggs, even though she pretends not to. But on second thought, she’ll probably kill me for telling you that, so maybe lay off the chocolates for now.”

“Got it. Thanks, Cisco! I won’t let you down!” He was grinning from ear to ear.

Cisco spluttered. “Seriously?” He covered his face. “I’m getting second-hand embarrassment here, dude.”

Jay held out his hand for Cisco to shake, and, when he took it, pulled him bodily up from his stool into a bear hug.

“Dude, the crutches, _the crutches!_ ”

“Crap, sorry.” Jay reached for the crutches and somehow planted them under Cisco’s arms while holding him upright. Cisco seriously envied anyone who was 6’4”.

“Alright, come on, you big lug. It’s getting late and we should get out of here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I can't be the only one thinking that Cisco got the short end of the stick at the end of S1. Caitlin left for Mercury Labs and sort of gave up on Team Flash, Barry was doing his passive-aggressive white boy solo act, and Cisco was still there for all of them. But he definitely got screwed in terms of having an actual lab to work in...


	6. (heroes, of a sort pt. 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cisco is a fanboy at heart.

Cisco squinted at the man sitting across from him.

“You want me to what?”

Oliver Queen himself had dropped by the apartment unannounced (how he’d even known where they lived, he had no idea), asking him a little urgently to talk one on one. Caitlin had shrugged and given him a look that said _you’ll obviously tell me what this is about later_.

And that was how he found himself in Jitters with an incredibly tense Oliver.

“I mean, I don’t want to know _too_ far in the future. But does Felicity break up with me over this, or have I still got a shot?”

“Hold up, first you’re gonna have to tell me what you did to Felicity, because I’m really not following here.”

Oliver continued to frown, looking anywhere but at Cisco.

“Alright, she’ll tell me herself anyway – hey! Give that back!”

Oliver held the phone out of reach, looking desperate now.

“Seriously, you can’t just beg me to help you then go stealing my phone. It’s my baby-“

“Cisco, please.” Oliver lowered his voice, conscious of the looks they were attracting. He reached into his coat and slid an official-looking envelope toward Cisco.

Cisco raised an eyebrow, but wordlessly opened it and _god dammit,_ Oliver must have talked to Laurel because Cisco knew he was being played like a fiddle. Inside was a picture of him smiling and giving a thumbs up with a dispassionate-looking Green Arrow behind him. Cisco had taken it the last time they’d teamed up, but Oliver had made him delete it. He didn’t even know a copy of it existed, to be honest.

“Alright, fine,” he groaned. “Not here, though. Too many eyes.”

Oliver led them down the street and into a dingy-looking alley whose stench would definitely guarantee no human in a 500-foot radius would be eavesdropping.

“Dude, slow down.” Cisco hobbled along behind Oliver, trying to keep up with his quite-frankly slave-driving pace.

“Ah, sorry.” Oliver turned around, concerned, before heading back and reaching out a hand to help Cisco along.

Cisco rolled his eyes. “I’m not an _invalid_. Just…I can do this myself, just slow down, will you?” He was getting whiplash from the extremes between which Oliver operated. He was seriously going to have to talk to Felicity about it after her and Oliver kissed and made up.

“Okay,” he said, steadying himself against the wall.

He slid the goggles on and reached out, feeling the familiar pull of just _knowing_ where and when to be. He focused on Oliver and Felicity. He _could_ just vibe on their argument and Oliver would be none-the-wiser, but he all but promised (read: was bribed) not to pry. He sighed. Being one of the good guys was boring sometimes.

He pinpointed Oliver and Felicity a week from now – and how did he know it was a week? Shit, he was still getting the hang of this but somehow he was positive of the timeframe – when suddenly, he was thrown into another scene entirely.

He was standing in the basement of S.T.A.R. Labs with the rest of the team after they escaped Earth-2 and closed the breach. Jay was standing in front of the portal when a hand – Zoom’s hand – burst through his chest, pulling him back through the breach.

He only realized the screaming he heard was coming from his own mouth when he opened his eyes and was met with Oliver’s terrified expression.

“What happened? Does something go wrong?” he urged.

“Uhh,” Cisco droned out eloquently. “No, I’m not sure what that was, actually.”

There was no way that was real. They escaped. _They escaped and Jay was alive._

“Sorry, um,” he swallowed. “Let me try again.”

Oliver nodded, eyes wide.

He focused himself again, honing into the same point as before. This time, the scene before him played without interruption. Oliver and Felicity sitting in Big Belly Burger, Felicity laughing and wiping a ketchup stain from Oliver’s lips. He pulled the goggles off, not wanting to intrude any further than he already had.

“Dude, you guys are gonna be fine,” he said.

“That’s it? You’re sure?”

Cisco threw up his hands and rolled his eyes. “He asks for my help, then he doesn’t believe me when I give it.”

“Seriously, you want me to go even deeper and tell you how to apologize to her? Because I’m pretty sure that would be cheating, man.”

Oliver deflated. “No…you’re right.”

“Come on, then. What are you waiting for? All I saw was that you guys make up eventually, but that doesn’t mean it’ll happen unless you actually do something about it, right?”

Oliver nodded eagerly, like a puppy trying to convince himself it was true.

They were silent on the way back, which was awkward in its own right, but considering how little he spoke with Oliver, any one-on-one interaction between the two of them was bound to be awkward.

Oliver left him in front of the apartment with a quickly muttered “thanks, Cisco,” not even waiting for a response before driving off.

“You’re welcome?”

Really though, Cisco knew he had come out on top of this deal. This picture was going up on the lab wall right next to the one with the Black Canary. Maybe he could convince Jay to take a picture with him in the Flash-2 getup sometime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is an actual story chapter. Hooray!


	7. two steps forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one ever said the road to recovery would be easy, but Cisco is getting there one step at a time.

Cisco tried to open his eyes.

His entire body felt heavy, his brain still in a feverish state from the anesthesia. The last thing he remembered before being put out was holding the nurse’s hand tightly, which was sort of embarrassing.

He tried lifting an arm, but it was easier to just…not.

“Cisco?”

There was a sudden movement in the periphery of his vision and cold fingers around his hand.

“Cait…?”

“Try not to move too much. You’ve still got a ton of painkillers in you.”

Cisco giggled. “Wha’s happ’ning?”

“Complete success. They were able to repair all of the damage.” She patted his leg and gave him a genuine smile. “Now, go back to sleep.”

And he did.

 

* * *

 

 

The next time he woke up, the haze from the drugs was gone and all that was left was a throbbing pain in his leg.

“Hey, Cisco,” Jay said with a broad smile. “How’re you feeling?”

He tried speaking, but his throat felt like it had been rubbed raw by sandpaper.

“Hang on.” Jay returned a moment later with a cup of water.

Cisco sipped it down gently, doing his best not to choke.

“Cait was getting tired, so I told her to go home and get some rest.” He was content with a one-sided conversation, it seemed.

“Anyway, they’re letting you go in a few of days. That’s exciting, right?” he nudged.

Cisco groaned. Really, the clean bill of health was great, but he wasn’t sure he would survive another three days in the hospital. It was already a depressing enough place as it was, but the hospital bed and the sterile room reminded him way too much of the medical room in S.T.A.R. Labs for his liking.

“Hey,” Jay said eagerly, overlooking Cisco’s contemplative silence or ignoring it completely. “I know you’re probably gonna go crazy in here, so I snuck this in.”

He reached into his jacket and pulled out a tablet and a compact-looking circuit board. “I know it’s kids’ stuff, but I don’t think I could’ve gotten anything bigger in—“

“Seriously?! Raspberry Pi’s are way underrated, dude. People have no idea what you can do with them if you actually try. Thanks, man.”

He reached over to grab them from Jay when their fingers accidentally brushed against each other.

_He was standing over Jay again, fingers spread in front of him before blasting him with a sonic wave not unlike those he saw Reverb emit._

_Lightning flickered around Jay’s torso as he fell to the ground. Cisco reached out a hand in terror but Jay waved him away, steadying himself before standing again. He zipped away in a flash before returning seconds later, a grin on his face._

“Cisco…?”

“Huh?”

“Maybe it’s better if we try this tomorrow,” Jay said, taking back the tablet from him. “You look like you could use some rest.”

“Yeah…” Cisco said distractedly.

“I’ll be right outside. If you need anything, just holler.” He gave Cisco a gentle pat on the shoulder.

Right…

What the hell was that? He thought he had hurt Jay when he first vibed on the train, but what? It looked like – he just, he gave Jay his speed back. Was that even possible?

As much as he tried to forget Reverb’s words, they were nagging at him, even moreso since he’d donned the goggles in the Arrow Cave. _Could_ he be that powerful? To restore a speedster’s speed. They’d have two against one on Zoom. That had to count for something. As soon as he was out of here, he would put on the goggles again and try to make sense of the scene that just played out in front of him.

We _could be gods._

Cisco shuddered. All that power, and to think that his doppelganger had used it for evil. When he’d first found out that he was a metahuman, Cisco had spent weeks wondering whether he’d be the next one to end up in the pipeline. Seeing himself, Caitlin, and Ronnie so twisted up on Earth-2 was just the icing on the admittedly shite cake. The three of them had been inseparable on Earth-1, and it turned out the same was probably true on Earth-2 as well, only not in any form he’d ever want to see their friendship take.

Thankfully, the nurse stopped by to give him his evening dose of painkillers and he drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

There was a dull vibrating sound coming from somewhere in his vicinity, almost like a fly buzzing in his ear, but farther off.

He really didn’t want to open his eyes, but he definitely wanted to know if he was going crazy on top of everything else. If he was, his next request to Cait would be a lethal dose of painkillers because being confined to an actual hospital bed was already proving to be far worse than the S.T.A.R. Labs med bay. And yes, the Raspberry Pi actually was as overrated as everyone said it was and he would never be a contrarian again if it meant he could leave the hospital today.

Cisco opened his eyes and immediately regretted it when the rush of sterile light blinded him. Trying again, he slowly lifted one eyelid, then the other as his vision cleared. Still, it took him a few seconds to realize that the buzzing was coming from the chair next to him. The chair that Barry was currently sitting in.

Barry didn’t pay him any attention though, his eyes cast towards the floor and fidgeting his legs so rapidly that they were a blur.

Cisco cleared his throat. “Um…”

And Barry jumped a good foot out of his seat.

“Sorry,” he said with effort and he pulled himself up against the headboard. It was a harder task than it seemed, given that his legs felt like jelly.

“So, uh, what are you doing here?”

Barry winced. “I heard the surgery was a success, so…that’s good, right?” he asked tentatively.

Truthfully, despite that first meeting in the Arrow Cave, things were still awkward between the two of them. It was naïve to think that everything would be patched up after a single quasi-heart-to-heart. Barry had stopped by the apartment a few days after the Star City incident, but the atmosphere was stilted and aside from the basic greetings and small talk, it had felt more like two friends reconnecting after having drifted apart and discovering that they didn’t have much in common anymore.

And it hurt Cisco that he even felt that way, but he wasn’t remotely sure where to even begin picking up the pieces. In no way was he giving up, because they’d come too far over the past two years to forswear their friendship now, but it was frustrating to come to the realization things were progressing at their usual slow pace even after he had overcome the hurdle of meeting Barry face-to-face, no matter how accidental that may have been.

He shrugged. “That’s what they tell me.”

“Sorry…I should, um, I shouldn’t have come.” Barry looked defeated and Cisco instantly regretted being so short with him.

“…stay?” He sighed. No one said it would be easy, but this right here was worth fighting for, because in all honesty, Barry was his first real guy friend and represented an upswing in his life as far as being social was concerned. They quoted Star Trek at each other and completed the other’s sentences (to Caitlin’s fond disapproval), and there was something about their friendship that was once-in-a-lifetime. Barry being here at all had to count for something, right?

Barry nodded and sat back down with a small smile.

“Hey, what’s that smell?” he asked after a beat. He’d noticed it in his periphery when he woke up.

Barry perked up instantly. “Oh yeah, I got you this,” he pulled out a greasy-looking takeout bag from behind him. “I mean, the hospital food can’t be great, right?”

He brought it over to the bed and started emptying its contents on the tray table.

“Is that…?”

“A double-double with extra onion and a Coke with crushed ice,” Barry nodded.

“You remembered my order.”

It wasn’t really a question, but Barry answered anyway. “Of course.” Again with that wide-eyed sincerity.

The painkillers he was on had killed his appetite and the smell of food was making him nauseous, but he wasn’t about to tell that to Barry because with the excited look on his face, it would be like kicking a puppy. And besides, Cisco supposed it was the thought that counted.

“Hey, could I get some water?” he croaked. “Throat’s been dry all day and the soda isn’t helping.”

Barry nodded.

And that was when two things happened simultaneously: Barry flashed out of the room and back, holding out a glass to him when he returned; and Cisco recoiled, sending his burger and Coke tumbling to the floor.

“Jesus. Sorry, I wasn’t even thinking…” His hands fisted his hair as he backed away.

Cisco held up a hand. “It’s fine. It was just an accident.” He tried for reassuring but wasn’t sure how off the mark he was.

He had to get himself together. It was Barry Allen standing in front of him, not whatever deranged creature Zoom had turned him into. As it was, Barry looked like he was about to bolt any second now.

“Seriously,” Cisco said, “it was just a little blip in the road. I _want_ you to stay.”

Barry still looked unconvinced, so Cisco figured he had to be a little more forceful.

“Come on, Barry. Cait’s gonna murder me if she sees me with Big Belly Burger all over the floor. You’re not gonna let me face that alone, right?”

He shook his head mutely.

“Help me clean this up then, dude.”

That finally roused Barry into action – at regular speed this time – though it was really more like Cisco helping Barry since he really couldn’t move much yet.

He passed Barry a wad of paper towels.

“So, any riveting superheroics in your life lately?” It felt clumsy joking with Barry, like he had tripped while sprinting and was trying his best to right himself, but continued to stumble anyway. Still though, he figured it would eventually feel natural again.

Barry looked up from his steady wiping. “It’s…not the same without you. You and Caitlin, I mean,” he mumbled.

“I’m still the tech guy, you know. Pretty sure I’ll always be. And Cait would be there in a heartbeat if you needed to be patched up.”

“That’s not what I meant…” Barry tapped at his ear. “Team Flash isn’t the same without you in my ear.”

“Oh.”

Cisco wasn’t sure how to respond that, so he didn’t. Lingering resentment kept him from returning the sentiment, but he had to talk to Barry about it eventually. He was positive that Barry didn’t even understand why he was so…well, he wasn’t sure what to call it. Not angry, but disappointed? Upset? Both? It had more to do with Barry’s disregard for his life in dragging him to Zoom and his willingness to sacrifice Cisco to Eobard in the containment field than Barry’s act of physically hurting him.

Growing up, even the nerds had bullied Cisco, and he knew his self-esteem was so low that he was likely to attribute blame to himself when it otherwise wasn’t warranted. But his introspection of the aforementioned events had allowed him to realize that, yes, he damn well did have a right to be at least a little resentful.

He’d already resolved, though, that this was a friendship he wanted to salvage, and to do that, he needed to at least lay out his concerns and hear Barry’s side of things. As he sat in silence watching Barry scrub the floor of its sugary coating, the thrum of the heart rate monitors steady beside him, he knew that now wasn’t the time for that discussion.

“I’m moving back in to my apartment this weekend, so silver linings, right?”

It wasn’t a very subtle change of topic, but Barry didn’t comment, save for a smile.

“Are you sure it’s safe, though, with Zoom on the loose?”

Cisco shrugged. “I’m not any safer living with Cait. Besides, Zoom can’t be too serious if he’s only sending his goons after me, right?”

“ _What?!_ ”

Barry was up and alert before Cisco could even blink, though he had to give him credit for doing it all at normal speed. And then he was wincing because he had forgotten to share the little detail of Mardon pursuing him all the way to Starling City. In his defense, it had been the last thing on his mind when they’d talked in the Arrow Cave and it had been out of his mind when Barry had visited the apartment. And Oliver had been there to take care of it, anyway.

When he told that to Barry, though, he looked even more pissed.

“Jesus. Zoom is _sending people after you_ and you think it’s a good idea to be living alone? You need _protection_ , Cisco!”

“And who’s going to do the protecting?” he fired back.

He knew it was a low blow, but he bristled at being told what to do and what was best for him, especially coming from Barry. He didn’t have super powers. None that would be useful in defending himself, anyway. All he had was his brain and his planning, and it wasn’t like he was leaving himself defenseless.

“But, what if he sends someone like Mardon again? I can take care of him easily.”

“So, what? You’re saying you’re gonna move in with me?”

Barry looked away, a stubborn defiance in his eyes that Cisco knew indicated he wouldn’t be backing down from this one without a fight.

“It’s not a good idea,” Cisco continued. _It was a terrible idea_ , he thought. “Besides, you’re forgetting something.”

“Huh?”

“I can _see the future_ , dude. You seriously don’t think I’ve been checking every day to make sure I come out in one piece?”

Barry furrowed his brow like he was trying to mentally poke holes in that idea but couldn’t really find any fault in it.

“Besides, I have like five superheroes on speed dial. If I see shit’s about to go down, you’d all be getting a call from me.”

“You’d let me know first, though, right…?” he said sincerely.

At Cisco’s hesitation, he added “I could be there almost instantly!”

Cisco snorted. “Isn’t that why I should let you know last? The others’ll need a head start.”

Barry laughed, but it was a tentative little thing. “You’d call me right away, though?”

“Yeah. I would,” Cisco said after a long moment.

“Now come on, let’s finish cleaning this up before the nurses come in.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Are you sure he wants me here?” Barry asked tentatively.

“For the tenth time, Barry, all of his friends should be there. And he still considers you his friend, so what do you think?”

Caitlin and Jay had been planning a surprise party for Cisco’s homecoming and Caitlin had needed some help setting up while Jay distracted Cisco, but Barry was unconvinced he’d actually be welcome.

“It’s just, I don’t know how to talk to him anymore,” he said hesitantly. “It’s like – I don’t know, it’s like I know him even less than when I first met him.”

He knew moving forward wasn’t going to be easy, but he wasn’t prepared for just how uncomfortable it would be. No matter what he did, he only seemed to fuck everything up even more. First in Star City, then again in the hospital. Cisco was terrified of him and the best thing for him to do would be to stay as far away as possible, but he just couldn’t do it. Like a moth drawn to the flame, he couldn’t keep his distance. He couldn’t. Where Cisco had left his life, there was a gaping void that couldn’t be filled, no matter how hard he tried.

It was most noticeable in the first days after the incident, when he had tried to get back on his feet as the Flash and realized that Cisco’s healing process was not something that was going to take a few days, but months.

Caitlin had been out attending to Cisco, Jay following in her wake. Harry had been around the lab occasionally, but the withering looks he’d sent Barry’s way had him shirking away from him. When even Wells had been giving him death glares, he’d known that he’d well and truly fucked up.

And that had left only Iris and Joe to man the comms on his missions. The first time having them in his ear had been so utterly disastrous that under penalty of death, they had agreed to never speak of it again.

He hadn’t realized how much he’d taken Cisco’s support for granted until it was gone. And it wasn’t just that he always knew exactly which way to lead Barry to his destination, or that his knowledge of physics had always come in handy when discovering unique ways to take down the various metas they fought. It was the easy way they could banter and joke back and forth even when he was running over a thousand miles per hour that had Barry at ease, comforted in the knowledge that Cisco had his back.

_I’m the eyes and ears. He’s the feet._

Of course, Harry had taken pity on them when he had seen what an unqualified fiasco the three of them had caused, but it hadn’t been pleasant. He was tight-lipped, direct, and to-the-point, but he had the uncanny ability of making his complete disdain known through his scathing tone.

Not that he didn’t deserve it, of course. Barry knew he did. But he would give anything, _anything_ , to have Cisco back on the team. He had even tried time jumping in the week after he got his bearings back, but it hadn’t worked, and when he considered that Cisco would literally be the only other person who would remember the events anyway, he’d figured that it would’ve been a lost cause.

And then there was the matter of the tech. Harry had helped where he could, but the suit and all the speedster gadgets were really Cisco’s area of expertise and eventually, he just had to bite the bullet and hope Cisco was up to patching up suit after his crime fighting sessions.

“Did you think it would be easy? I’ve seen you face Zoom without backing down, but you’re running away now because it’s hard to talk to Cisco?”

“Come on, where’s the Barry who ran into a singularity to save Central City? You’re braver than this,” Caitlin smiled. “Now, are you going to help me or what?”

Barry nodded. He could do this.

“Okay, so let’s just tidy up first. He’ll probably kill us for messing up his ‘system’-“ she rolled her eyes affectionately, “but we can’t just have books and papers all over the floor when the guests are over.”

Barry got to work. Gathering up Cisco’s personal library and alphabetizing it was oddly therapeutic and only took him the better part of a minute.

“Wait, don’t put the beam dynamics books so high up. He’s always reading those and he hates when he can’t reach them.”

“Sorry. On it.”

Caitlin nodded as she went about cleaning off the kitchen table, muttering to herself while scowling at the mess of dishes in the sink.

“Cisco’s parents will probably want the strawberry shortcake, but Dante’s allergic to strawberries, so we’ll need another type of cake too. Can you run out and pick up the drinks? I’ll give you the list.”

Before he could answer, she continued on. “Rum, champagne, Iris is bringing the red wine, beer for Joe, tequila…actually, definitely no tequila for Cisco, not after that time in Coast City,” she smiled fondly to herself.

“Something wrong?” she added when she noticed Barry staring at her.

“No, but how do you know so much about Cisco and his family?” he asked in a tone that he was pretty sure was far less casual than he had hoped.

“I’ve known him a lot longer than you have,” she pointed out. “And I have a good memory. You probably know just as much, you’re just forgetful and don’t remember half the things he tells you.”

He swallowed. “Oh…yeah, that’s probably it.”

Except that it definitely wasn’t. In the first few months after waking up from his coma, he and Cisco had become fast friends and the team outings were numerous, whether to karaoke or the newest dive bar Cisco had found. Their lives – or rather, his life – had gotten gradually busier as the situation with the Reverse Flash had come to a head and those late night hangouts became less frequent until they fizzled out entirely.

Although, now that Barry thought about it, Cisco had asked him out for drinks all the time, and it had mostly been him that had rebuffed all of the invitations. Why had he done that again? Probably because he’d been off chasing Iris, even when she was dating Eddie. And then it was dates with Iris and Patty after that, even though he’d done a terrible job of setting aside enough time for them. He was the fastest man alive and he couldn’t even find the time to reciprocate his friends’ friendship?

Cisco and Caitlin didn’t seem to have that problem, if the photos of them scattered around the apartment walls were any indication. Joe and Iris were even in a few of them, much to Barry’s surprise.

It was like his and Cisco’s friendship had grown rapidly and then hit a plateau, an asymptote that, no matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t breach. Only, that wasn’t really fair, he thought to himself. Cisco had been putting in all the effort in those last few months.

So, where did that leave them now? Had he been a bad friend? Caitlin seemed to think Cisco still considered him a friend, but Barry wasn’t so sure now. What if Cisco was tired of doing all the legwork and didn’t think being friends with Barry was worth it anymore? That was, assuming Cisco didn’t hate him on principle now.

He promised himself that would change moving forward. He _swore_ it.

“Those drinks aren’t going to appear out of thin air, you know,” Caitlin said sarcastically, cutting him out of his thoughts.

“Right…”

When he opened the door, Dante was standing on the other side, hand raised in a fist as if he was about to knock.

After recovering from the initial shock, the look he shot Barry was scorching.

“I’ll just, um…” Barry stammered, doing his best to give Dante a wide berth.

The older Ramon brother had stridden up to him and sucker punched him right in the face after he’d found out what Barry had done. It was well within his rights, Barry knew, but he preferred to avoid any future repeats if he could – Dante had a mean right hook that hurt like hell, even with super healing.

After inching around the entryway, Barry sped off without further preamble. He felt like a dog running away with his tail between his legs, but there was no way he could face Dante right now, not when there was still so much to mend with Cisco.

So he ran. It was what he did best.

 

* * *

 

 

“SURPRISE!”

Cisco nearly jumped out of the wheelchair when Jay wheeled him in. He was blushing furiously, but perked up at the sight of the various sweets laid out on the kitchen table.

Once the festivities were underway, Cisco had eased into the environment and was taking the time to catch up with Iris and Joe and all the others he hadn’t been able to see as often while recuperating.

Barry had never felt more out of place than he did in that moment. He felt like a fly on the wall, watching the private moments of someone’s life play out even though he was no longer privy to that inner circle. As Cisco laughed at an inside joke with Iris and animatedly explained the blueprints on his desk to Jesse, it couldn’t have been more obvious to Barry that he was a puzzle piece that no longer fit in the tapestry of Cisco’s life.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Joe nudged him playfully.

“Huh…?” Barry knew he didn’t sound eloquent, but he wasn’t sure what Joe was getting at.

“I’m saying you look like a kicked puppy, Bar. What’s on your mind?”

He sighed. “I don’t know…it just feels like…maybe I don’t belong here anymore,” he said, indicating the whole of the celebrations in front of him.

“That’s only true if you let it be. All I see’s you standing on the sidelines while Cisco rebuilds his life. You gotta get in on the action if you wanna be a part of it.”

He gave Barry a comforting squeeze on the shoulder before pushing him forward.

Barry knew he was right, but it was nerve-wracking. What if he said something stupid or sent Cisco into another panic attack?

Still though, he took a deep breath and heeded Joe’s advice.

Cisco was in the middle of an enthusiastic exchange with Jay, but gave a grin when he noticed Barry approaching.

“Hey Barry! Jay was just showing me his new plans for jet propulsion boots.”

“Yup, we’re building them next weekend. Check it out,” he said with a boyish enthusiasm, passing his phone over to Barry.

Barry wasn’t sure if he was meant to understand any of the complex formulas on the screen, but he nodded politely anyway.

“So the specific impulse is just the force?” he ventured.

“Huh?”

Jay peeked over his shoulder. “It’s the thrust per unit flow. It’s just how you measure the propulsion efficiency. See? When the specific impulse is higher,–“

“-then the initial and final masses are closer together–“ Cisco chimed in.

“–and you wind up using less propellant to power the boots,” Jay finished.

“Although it’s sorta more complicated than that in real life, because you’ll want to integrate the force instead of just averaging it, but this is still good for a ballpark calculation.”

Cisco rambled on, which Barry actually loved about him, because he was the only one who had the tendency to babble as much as Barry did.

“…oh, yeah I knew that. Guess I’m just a little rusty.”

“Yeah, it’s not too hard once you break it down,” Cisco nodded, though he was already turning back to Jay, who had run off to grab a pencil and paper to work out more of the details.

Barry actually had no idea what Cisco and Jay were talking about. Chemistry was more his speed than physics or mechanical engineering, and ordinarily Barry wouldn’t have been embarrassed to admit he didn’t understand an equation because Cisco was actually a really patient teacher. So he wasn’t entirely sure why he’d just lied, he’d just felt pressured to show that he was following along too, not to mention he was a little envious of Cisco and Jay’s ability to ping pong ideas off each other so easily.

Thankfully, Caitlin chose that moment to interrupt everyone with a tap on her champagne glass. “Everyone gather round. Time to open presents!”

“Come _on_ , Cait, this is so embarrassing. Why do we have to make a big show of this?” he overheard Cisco saying.

“Oh shush, everyone worked hard on their gifts.”

Cisco grumbled something unintelligible in response.

Caitlin had made him a box of custom-flavored lollipops (“try not to eat them all so quickly this time,” she had scolded him). Joe gave him an expensive-looking bottle of bourbon.

“What is this?” Cisco asked as he opened the intricate envelope Iris had handed him. “Wait, is this…”

“Exactly what you think it is,” she said smugly.

“Oh my god, it’s a plus-one press pass to the grand opening of the quantum optics department at Mercury Labs!” He held it up for everyone to see.

“Looks like you’re my date for the night,” Iris smiled.

“Best ever. All of the biggest names in physics are gonna be there,” he said in wonder.

“Okay, next!” Caitlin passed over an enormous, flat-looking gift. “From Jay.”

When Cisco unwrapped it, he just looked confused. It was a sparsely engraved sign with the text ‘Welcome to Atlantis.’

“You know how you keep saying you want to visit my Earth’s Atlantis?”

Cisco nodded.

“That’s the welcome sign to the city. When you’re back on your feet, I’m taking you there. Just the two of us,” he grinned.

“No way. _No way_.” Cisco looked like he was about to leap out of his wheelchair in joy. “How’d you get it, though?”

Jay rubbed the back of his neck. “I…might’ve borrowed it? Just temporarily!” he added when Caitlin rolled her eyes.

“Dude…”

Apparently, Cisco wasn’t capable of speech at the moment.

Harry, through either some miscommunication or difference in social norms on Earth-2, hadn’t known that he was supposed to bring a gift. He’d actually looked uncharacteristically embarrassed and promised an IOU.

Which, Barry was secretly grateful for. The rest of his friends had shown up with personalized gifts, and he beginning to dread the moment that Cisco opened his admittedly lame pair of tickets to an outdoor showing of ‘Blade Runner.’ The two of them had never seen it before and had tentative plans to watch it before everything had gone to shit. But how was he supposed to compete with a freaking trip to Atlantis or the opening gala of the Quantum Optics division at Mercury?

“It’s dumb…” Barry said quietly when he handed Cisco the plain-looking envelope.

But Cisco’s eyes lit up when he saw them. “Dude, it’s perfect.”

And something in Barry’s heart unclenched when he heard those words. He felt lighter than he had in ages. And at least he’d have some one-on-one time with Cisco in the future.

When the festivities had finally wound down, Cisco had given everyone a warm hug as they filed out, which just left him and Barry alone in the doorway.

Barry reached his arms out tentatively, but Cisco looked like he was trying to wheel himself around Barry without being close enough to catch. He knew things would still be tense between the two of them, but he had hoped that they might’ve gotten somewhere with the movie tickets.

“Please…? Everyone else got a hug.”

Still nothing.

“We used to hug all the time,” he tried, a little desperate now.

Cisco contemplated that for a long moment. “I…yeah, okay.”

And Barry was crashing forward, hugging Cisco like his life depended on it. The angle was all wrong and his knees burned from having to bend down around the wheelchair, but he didn’t care because this was perfect.

“Bar, enough with the bear hug, I can’t breathe!” Cisco voice sounded muffled through the fabric of Barry’s sweater.

“Oops, sorry,” Barry said sheepishly.

When they finally let go, Barry hesitated awkwardly in the hallway. “I’ll see you around?”

“’Course.”

 

* * *

 

 

_Srnnk._

There it was again.

Cisco had been about to sleep when the low rumble caught his attention again. It sounded almost like a light snore, except that it was coming from outside his apartment door.

He wheeled himself over to investigate, silently praying that he wasn’t about to get mauled by some rabid animal, crazy as his life was these days. But when he opened the door, he was faced with none other than Barry, fast asleep against the opposing wall. His body literally vibrated with each snore, silent grumbles that Cisco could feel across the hardwood floor and up the chassis of his wheelchair.

God dammit. He couldn’t say he was surprised at all because there was no amount of reassuring that would have convinced Barry that he wasn’t in danger living alone. Still, he felt guilty because that position Barry was slumped in couldn’t have been comfortable. He didn’t want Barry moving in with him specifically because he didn’t think he was ready to handle the daily interaction yet, even if it was for his own protection. But he figured the least he could do was invite him in.

“Hey.” He kicked gently at Barry’s prone form.

“Wha…?”

“Come on, you can take the couch.”

“I don’t wanna intrude…” Barry said drowsily, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Dude, your snoring was already waking me up. Just get inside, I promise my couch is more comfortable.”

Barry silently followed him in, still looking like he was unsure he should actually be doing this. He must have been exhausted, though, because he fell back asleep without a word a few seconds after lying down.

 

* * *

 

 

Most nights, Barry would show up at his apartment. He would never knock, but Cisco would always check the hallway before sleeping and invite him in.

They didn’t speak much, partly because it was always late when Barry showed up and partly because they were still unsure of how to act around each other, but Cisco thought it was still progress all the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hopefully this was clear, but both Barry and Cisco have some major hang-ups about their friendship with the other that are amplified through miscommunication (or rather, lack of communication)


End file.
